Dealing with Gen Z and Gen Alpha

I was sitting with my son, trying to explain why studying is important. He belongs to Generation Alpha. He listened quietly, but he didn’t respond or ask any questions. It felt as if my words were not reaching him.

That made me realize the problem wasn’t that he was refusing to listen. The problem was that he wasn’t connecting with the way I was communicating.

Generation Alpha—children born after 2010—has grown up in a world filled with smartphones, tablets, AI, and instant access to information. Compared to Generation Z, they are even more comfortable interacting with technology than with people.

I noticed this difference in my own home. Even though I’m a software engineer who spends nearly 18 hours a day in front of a computer, I still prefer typing my searches into Google, YouTube, or AI tools. Voice commands don’t feel natural to me.

My daughter, on the other hand, never thinks twice. Before she could even write properly or start school, she was already telling YouTube with her voice to play her favorite cartoons. For her, speaking to technology is completely natural.

This made me rethink how I communicate with my children.

Instead of giving instructions, I should ask questions.

Instead of speaking most of the time, I should spend more time listening.

When people are asked thoughtful questions, they begin to reveal what they think, what they believe, and what is happening in their minds. Once we understand their perspective, our advice becomes more meaningful because it connects with their reality instead of ours.

One lesson stands out above all others:

Before we try to teach our children, we must first understand them.

As parents, we also need to remove the “dust” of our own experiences. The world we grew up in is very different from the world our children are growing up in. The methods that worked for us may not always work for them.

Generation Z and Generation Alpha are different from previous generations. They don’t simply accept instructions because someone older said so. They want discussion. They want to understand the purpose behind a task. They need to know not only what they should do, but also why it matters and how it will benefit them.

Key Takeaways

  • Ask questions instead of immediately giving instructions.
  • Listen first; understanding comes before teaching.
  • Don’t assume your experiences are the same as theirs.
  • Encourage open discussions rather than one-way lectures.
  • Explain the purpose and benefits behind every important task.
  • Build trust through conversation, not authority.

Understanding comes before influence. When children feel heard, they become far more willing to listen.

Life happen every day

Life happens every day.

The other day, I was sitting in my office. At the moment, there isn’t much work on my desk because our project is still in the analysis phase, and I am part of that process. With nothing urgent to do, my mind began to wander.

It drifted into the past.

I started asking myself many questions. Why did certain things happen to me? Why did people behave the way they did? Why was I treated that way?

Later, another thought appeared.

This time it was about my son.

What will happen to him? He isn’t studying seriously. He doesn’t seem focused on his education. As he is my only son, I couldn’t stop imagining what his future might look like.

Without realizing it, I spent the whole day traveling between the past and the future—replaying old memories and worrying about things that had not yet happened.

Then I remembered something that Zen teaches.

Zen is beautifully simple. It is not about complicated rituals or endless philosophical discussions. It is about direct experience. It reminds us to stay in the present moment, to live consciously, and to act with intention.

When we are fully present, we naturally make better decisions. We give our complete attention to what we are doing right now. If we continue acting consciously today, tomorrow will largely take care of itself. Worrying about the future rarely improves it, but acting wisely in the present often does.

The past is different.

It is only a collection of memories. We cannot return to it or live there again. We can only learn from it.

When painful memories keep returning, perhaps the best response is not to fight them but simply to observe them. Our mind may not be trying to torture us. It may simply be warning us:

“This happened once. Be careful that it doesn’t happen again.”

I have experienced this while programming.

Whenever I face a difficult technical problem, memories of previous failures sometimes come back. I remember the frustration, the stress, and the feeling that I had no solution.

At first, those memories make me anxious.

But then I remind myself that they are not predictions of failure—they are reminders of experience. They tell me where I struggled before, so I can approach the problem differently this time. Instead of becoming trapped by those memories, I use them as lessons.

I once came across a quote often attributed to the Buddha:

Someone asked, “We all have to die one day.”

The Buddha replied, “No. We die only once. We live every day.”

Whether or not these were the Buddha’s exact words, the message is powerful.

We often become obsessed with the fact that one day we will die. Since death is inevitable, we sometimes forget that life is happening right now.

The truth is that we die only once.

But we are given the opportunity to live every single day.

That realization changes everything.

Instead of asking, “How much time do I have left?” perhaps the better question is, “How fully did I live today?”

If I live each day with awareness, do meaningful work, love the people around me, learn continuously, and become a better person than I was yesterday, then I have already lived a complete life.

When that day finally comes, I hope I will have no regrets.

Because if I have truly lived every day, I will not need another life to feel complete.

The most effective way to engage in a conversation

  • Practice small talk.
  • If it is face-to-face, then you must know the other person’s interests.
  • face-to-face.  Listen to another person in conversation.
  • Let them speak.
  • Listen focus.
  • Repeat and rephrase other words.
  • Encourage others to speak.
  • Take a pause, then share your point of view.
  • Listening helps us understand other people’s points of view.
  • If you disagree, then criticise his words or sentences, but never attack another person.
  • Avoid personal attacks.
  • Share your idea and its benefits.
  • Share what you think the other person points out, as well as why your idea is better than his or hers.
  • Give other person to save pace.
  • Conclude on common points and agreement.
  • If another person’s point of view is right, accept him.
  • The other person should sense that you are listening to him.
  • If there is a formal meeting, let them win.
  • Try to win only when it is necessary and something you want to achieve.

Circumstances don’t cause pain

  • A couple of years ago, I thought that what I am now was the result of circumstances.
  • I cannot be changed. I was shaped by my circumstances.
  • These circumstances cause pain and suffering in my life.
  • I was wrong. I was responsible for where I am now.
  • My actions shape my future circumstances.
  • But to some extent, circumstances are responsible for my actions and decisions.
  • The situation in which I made decisions and took actions created additional circumstances.
  • Our circumstances definitely have an impact. But how we react to them. How we take actions.
  • Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. Nido Qubein
  • We begin to assume responsibility for our lives on that day. Circumstances have become our starting point.
  • Circumstances create pain; instead of suffering, we move forward.
  • Very interesting quote from Napoleon “Circumstances-what are circumstances? I make circumstances.”

The secret to speaking effectively

  • The secret to speaking effectively
    • What is secret. there is open secret.
    • Before speaking we have clear understanding, at what level of audience you have.
    • Before speaking you to think what is message you want to convey. Simply begins with end in mind.
    • What is starting point.
    • Use story telling style. Human mind understand stories well. If you start,
    • Set context. The background.
    • Understand, transition points.
    • When you switch from one point to another.
    • And then practice.
    • Some people are born with nature gift of speaking. But as Angela Duckworth said in book Grit “…as much as talent counts, effort counts twice.”

Why assertive communication is important

Suppose you are working on assigned tasks. Your tasks are not completed. Your boss has arrived and is assigning you additional tasks. And ask to complete those tasks. He set unrealistic deadlines. To meet these unrealistic deadlines, you spent extra hours overworking. The result is buggy. You are not producing outstanding results.

Because you avoid conflict, you have to accept more and more work. And as a result, you were unable to meet the expectations. And became a B-grade employee. Despite the efforts, implementations of ideas, and suggestions, nothing changes, and the situation becomes worse day by day.

The management frequently complains about your work. Your performance is declining daily.

Is there a lack of communication here? No, you’re speaking with your manager. But your communication style needs to change. You definitely work on a few things to make an impact. Let’s discuss three communication styles and how you need to change for better communication if you want different results.

Passive communication.

Passive communication’s primary goal is to avoid conflict. To achieve this, you strive to conceal your emotions and thoughts about your task. You must suppress your emotions and thoughts, allowing others to make decisions on your behalf. It results in frustration and dissatisfaction at work.

This situation usually leads to a lose-win situation.

Aggressive communication.

The main theme of aggressive communication is to focus solely on your own needs and feelings. Aggressive communication often suppresses the feelings and thoughts of co-workers. When confronting others, it is always defensive and aggressive.

Aggressive communicators invade other people’s personal spaces. Or, never let another person speak.

Assertive communication.

The main theme is honest communication about your thoughts and feelings. The theme is to share what is actually happening. Instead of suppressing other people’s needs and wants, we need to communicate in such a way that others will feel respect for their ideas and feelings. In assertive communication, the communicator needs to communicate challenges and hurdles to their task.

Assertive communication is a win-win situation. It implies that while respecting others needs and wants, the communicator also asserts his own.

Why does it matter?

Why assert that communication matters? It matters because passive people are generally frustrated, unhappy, and dissatisfied with other people’s needs. Passive people cannot comfortably share their opinions or needs. They constantly worry about the other person’s happiness. They strive to cater to the needs of others.

But assertive people are more balanced in their ability to put themselves first and consider others. While assertive people are happy, they balance their needs with those of others.

Now let’s come back to the example mentioned at the start of the video.

When the manager assigns you a new task, you have to describe your current situation. If the manager assigns you a task with an unrealistic deadline, you must explain why. You must explain to him how much time it takes to complete the task.

In closing notes, Assertive communication is necessary for career growth. People love assertive people who listen and care about others while considering their own understanding of matters and providing the solution to the problem at hand.

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