Category: Positive thoughts

When someone told you I have a doctor’s appointment.

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Most of the time, we did not think before speaking. We speak because we want to share.

https://youtu.be/UB3DPtI_oPA

A couple of days ago, I learned this lesson. I got a call from my friend from the USA. We worked together in a software company, and he became my buddy. Couple of days back. He was facing a problem with sciatica, and the doctor wanted to remove the disk from his backbone. I was sitting in the room alone, seeking someone to talk to.

I got a call from him; he just told me that I have a doctor’s appointment. Instead of speaking further, I just started sharing my experience with illness. That happens; this happens; nobody cares; doctors are making money. If I just wait a few days, I can save money on all those things. When I discuss all my experiences, I feel light, but I find he becomes more depressed. He was in pain; he wanted to share. Instead of listening to him, I made him more worried. He wants to share that he has had a small operation to remove a disk from his backbone. He started weeping about what would happen tomorrow. I shared my friend’s problem with him instead of listening to him.

It was a very embarrassing situation for me. I feel that I need to change. I would not share my experience and knowledge about the problem. I just have to listen. What I learned is that whenever someone tells you that I have a doctor’s appointment, You have to just reply, “You will be well soon”. And try to listen to him and give him hope that things will be better. Never ever share your or others people stories with him.

A MAN WITHOUT A SMILING FACE MUST NOT OPEN SHOP

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I was listening a podcast, there speaker talks about 10 10 10, 3 10 are people observer in you and last 10 are words. It talks about this quote that is in China, they said, if you cannot smile, you should not open a shop.

It means, The smile is the first thing every one note.

My father once told me that what he observed in other person is the smile.

We all are business man, Some business men are selling their products or open a shop. Others are selling their services. Consultants are coming in second category. We are selling our services.

Services to our company, Colleagues, and to clients.

And best way to sell our services is to smile. Because before selling our services, we ourself to others.

The only way to smile at workplace is live in present moment.

We all have pains, traumas and failures in life. We all have regrets,

We cannot finish all these things. Only way is to accept them. Accept them, so they no more hurt us.

Sometimes, we start to oppose and as result, these pains and suffering hurt us more.

The solution to all these problems, are acceptance. Let them come and go. Then we have to able to face the challenges we have in present moment.

I have to smile. Smile because I am capable to face every challenge that comes across.

Conclusion is smile is first thing, people watch at your face.

For smile, you have to live in present moment. Just focus on now.

Make peace with your past and live in present moment.

Relations with others are result of relation with self

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One of the biggest challenge, I am facing now is building relationship with others.

I realize that the relationship with others are result of your relationship with yourself.

Whatever is inside, reflect outside.

Now question is how can I make good relationship with myself.

Answer is to understand yourself. Accept your past, hope for future and overcome your fear. It is a starting point for me. For this I start to give answer to following points.

Who am I.

What are my achievements.

What are my failures.

What are my strengths.

What are my weakness.

What motivates me.

What discourage me.

More importantly why I did things in a way. What was my motivation. What was my intension.

I have to understand my weakness and failures. So they will not become hurdle in my success.

Sometimes, the idea of failure stops us to move ahead. I failed that time, this will repeat again. I will fail again. To control this, we  have to accept our failures. Remember, whatever we resist, persist.

So control on it.

Understand weakness, is important, so we work on it. I know, start working on it.

For example, I used to delay things, but when dead line reach near, my start to panic. And as result nothing happen. I start working from day first. So panic situation never happen. I start to control that I have enough time. I have start working on day one. In this way, I overcome the weakness.

My greater weakness is communicate. I understand, what I spoke. I start spoke about my work. I found that I am unable to bear the criticism. So I check my sensitivity. And start understand, it is just other person opinion. Take it or not take it. Just listen. And ignore.

I found that my documentation is not good, due to grammatical mistakes. My sentences are similar to speaking. Not professional writing. So after writing, I start using Quillbot, Grammerly or Notion Ai.

You have to understand, What motivates you. For example, fear of failing. Motivates me. Ability to learn new things, motivates me.

You also notice, what demotivate you. Reason for that, when that situation happens, you can handle the situation. You can take proactive action.

My friends, whatever the failure happens, you have to accept that. Let it go for all past actions.

Start a better relation with yourself. And slowly it will come out and reflect in your relationship.

Give them what they want, not what is require

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It is said, that in ancient China, one rich man wanted to get a mouse statue  for decoration. He held a competition, where he send request to all statute makers to participate in competition. When statue makers visited him. He told them his requirements, and held a prize who statue is so beautiful that his cat also confuse and snatch it.

On the competition day, all statute workers visited him, with his work. One young person comes with statue that is not so beautiful. When all statute placed in hall, all statue made fun of him.

But when rich man, visited the hall, he also not like his master piece.  But young man, asked him that in invitation there is requirement, that his cat will confuse with mouse is original or not.

So as per rules, cat have to decided that competition. Rich man laughed at him, and told them it is symbolic. Not actual. For just joke, he brought his cat in hall. When cat saw these mouse, instead to second look on all other mouses, she took the mouse of young person and run away.

Young person laughed and demand his prize. Because his fish was so beautiful that rich man’s cat confused and take it like a real mouse. Actually he made that mouse with fish meat.

Rich man surprised and gave him the prize.

Our life is such a way. Usually as consultant. We know what is best for client. But we have to give them what they want. Yesterday, I made a document, and they did not understand what is major meaning. They just search the exact word, they gave. So objective meanings were lost. Later I start to understand them, how they work. And produce the work as wishes for them.

Every thing in start is inconvenient

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I left my laptop mouse at home. I forget to pick form laptop table. It’s very difficult to use mouse pad on laptop. I did not habit to use it. From long before laptop, I am using computer since 1999. I used to mouse. Today I facing difficulty to operate.

There are two ways to approach this problem. Which is actually not problem at all.

Near market out of office,  I have to purchase a new mouse, possible cheaper one.

And second one is accept this as it is and try is work on laptop without mouse.

So I decided to work on second approach. Because when I reach home, what I do with second mouse. It will become waste.

Initially its very difficult. I force myself to work with touch pad. I usually disabled it because my pam touch the mouse pad. With the effort of two hours I started to comfortable with touch pad.

I feel change is really inconvenient in starting, when we start comfortable with it, it become our habit.

It said that if you do anything forcefully for 21 day, it become your second habit.

6 ways to see the glass as half full

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Brian Tracy states, “Optimism is the quality more associated with success and happiness than any other”. A human is a rational creature. He always has this scenario that his future will be better than his past and present. Thinking that his children are overly intelligent, his business will be prosperous, and his undying hope of never getting divorced in a marriage is all part of the optimistic human brain. The belief of almost every human being on this planet to think that the future will be better than the present and past is called optimism bias. Seeing the glass half full is a victorious approach and leads you to see opportunities. Pessimism kills opportunities.

 Is optimism hardwired?

Optimism is something inbuilt into the human race. We tend to abide by all the positivity and hope in our life situations. It is thought to be part of evolution. We tend to think and imagine all constructive scenarios. We never think about the destructive things that can end our careers or academics. Optimism is hardwired into human brains since birth. We hope for the best; try our best; give our best. There was a survey conducted in 2005  revealed the existence of optimism in young children as well as adults. It was thought-provoking.

There are many examples in our surroundings of the optimistic approach.

For example, there were two friends John and Kevin. They both gave trials for the national football team. But they failed to get into the team. the character of John is someone who always looks for hope in the mountain of rubble. In contrast, Kevin is someone who always thinks of contradictory situations. Kevin is someone who never gets hopeful and confident about the situation.  John thought of trying harder next year and getting on the football team with more enthusiasm. The coach gave him an excellent feedback that he used as fuel to burn more fiercely next time. Kevin didn’t make use of that and remained a failure. Who is more likely to practice more and try again? Is it Kevin or John?

If you ever want to bring change, it starts with yourself. If we mentally prepare ourselves to do one thing, we can achieve anything in the world. A mentally strong person can conquer the world. An optimistic mind is a sign of a strong belief. Being an optimist motivates you to keep going forward. It’s a skill you can develop with time and patience.

            “  Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed towards the Sun, and one’s feet moving forward.”  Nelson Mandela

I have said a lot about optimism. Let’s just develop ways to practice optimism and see things as a glass half full. 

Think and talk continually about your goals

An optimist will always think about the future without letting himself dwell in the past. He always thinks in the best lights and scenarios. Why do we burn ourselves in the agony of past mistakes? Either we should let them go or learn from them. The past is not gonna come ever. Let the bygones be bygones. An optimistic approach never sticks to past mistakes. Instead, it aims at learning from those mistakes. Human psychology plays a crucial role in determining your health status. The more you are hopeful towards things; the lesser the chances of deterioration of your health. Think about your goals and analyze your present position. It’s never too late to become triumphant. 

Always look for the solution 

Honestly speaking we have become a lazy generation. This laziness doesn’t let us achieve anything. We love our comfort zone and we tend to choose it every time. People having the potential of doing something are also restricted to their zones these days. We cannot achieve our goals until we leave our comfort zones. Success is not something that can be achieved by doing parties and resting all the time. It demands hard work, dedication and consistency. A lazy mind never looks for the solution to problems. A lazy person here is depicted as a pessimist. If one plan fails then he will not look for an alternate. He will just consider it destiny and will return to his comfortable couch. Whenever an optimist becomes stuck in a problem the first question that arises in his mind is:

What’s the plan B now? What can I do to make it better? 

Try finding ways. You will surely come up with something. It is better to have something in your hands than nothing. Practising these things will change your mindset one day eventually. An optimist person takes the initiative immediately and starts working on it. They don’t wait for things to happen; they make things happen. Quit making excuses and try to be a more practical person.

Avoid pessimism 

The counterpart to every emotion exists in this universe. Where there is love there is hate. Similarly where there is optimism; there is pessimism. Choose your company wisely. Friends and family play a vital role in building your self-esteem and confidence. If you are by chance unfortunate then these two can help you destruct your self-esteem as well. So try to be cautious about choosing your people. Never let anyone ruin your positive energy. If anyone brings negative energy by complaining about people and worldly things then kick them out instantly. 

“To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow-minded individuals” Michael Bassey

Body language matters 

A person’s body language tells a lot about his personality and mindset. A person with a dull and low-witted mindset will always have deep down shoulders and head facing the ground like he is the culprit of some undone crime. Whereas a confident person is always chinned up with broad shoulders facing the audience. These gestures throw a positive impression towards the audience making them think that you are a highly self-esteemed individual. If you are a beginner, you may be reluctant to do it. But still do it anyway. Fake it till you make it.

Laughter is a wine for the soul

A good laugh can help you heal a lot of hurts. Why do comedians live longer than normal people? It is just because they are masters at presenting everything humorous. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh frequently. Or just become a comedian. I think that does not cost much. According to a study at Maryland university, it is revealed that laughing helps increase blood flow. It helps reduce the risk of coronary diseases. It releases endorphins that reduce your cravings, stress, and anxiety and makes you feel cheerful. When there are this many benefits of laughing. Then what are you guys waiting for?

Exercise 

It not only keeps you in shape but also helps in releasing endorphins in the body. Endorphins are the happy hormones keeping you cheerful and optimistic all day. So what’s keeping you from exercising? Let’s do this, fellas!

Thanks for reading!

Why you consider what others said about you.

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I was in kitchen. My resign is accepted. I was in office and I got reply on email. Deliver these things and leave. He did not want to meet me. What ever is the reason. It is normal case.

When you did not have work for some one. Its better to layoff. I am facing the same problem from last one year. Any how its better for me.

In book winning Jack Welch said that, when need of a person completed. Or services for a person is not required. Fired him. Its good for him. both in terms of weight on companies expense and for him also. He will go outside and will find something good and will grow. In USA and European market they use better term Lay off.

I was in kitchen. Two sweet ladies form admin and HR standing in kitchen. HR lady make fun of me. Boss was so busy he did not consider to meet him. And then second lady spoke. Let him go, later we discuss and talk on this asshole. I enjoyed their conversation. I felt sad about those ladies and also for my self.

But why I considering their discussion. The Four agreement book Ruiz Don Miguel said, Second Agreement nothing take personal.

Its all about them. What they think of me. And they make fun of their organization not about me. They are making fun of owner of company not about me.

My friends. Every thing that hurts you has two solution. If you can change it do it. If you can not change it, just accept it.

Many times we hurt because our mind did not accept that fact. And when ever we start to resist it it starts to hurt us. So best way is accept it and stop resist it. It will pass.

Patience Patience my friend patience is name of game.

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We Pakistani are very impatience nation. We need everything urgent. And when results are not coming we become impatience.

Today I was standing in Business Bay metro station and waiting for Bus. And it was not coming. Waiting waiting and waiting. It took 15 minutes to come. I was impatient. Why It usually came with in 5 minutes. Why late. I am getting late form office. My target to reach office at 8 o clock. Office hours are flexible we have to reach before 9:30. It took almost 28 minutes to reach office from Business bay metro station to office where I am working at the time of writing this post. Then I realize that where is problem. Problem is in bus that it came late or I did not make margin of this extra time.

rumi quote came into my mind. “ When I was young, I want to change the world. Now I am wise, I want to change myself”.

What about I start my journey to office 15 minutes early. If I forget to charge my mobile. Why not have extra mobile charger in my laptop bag. What if, I make a plan one day a head.

Life never goes according to our plan. I have to add some margin in it.

Mr Jimmy Dean or If he was possible Pakistani then certainly his name would be Jimmy ul Dean once said.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

I read some where, “ Successful people are those who do self evaluate themselves”. And Self Evaluation is really painful. Difficult and painful to accept that fault, mistake or situation happens due to your lack of knowledge or proper handling. Only then you have to correct it. Acceptance requires patience with self.

Patience means, bear the current situation and be prepare that this situation never happen. or happen you have to handle it in better way.

Is reward or penalty help us to correct ?

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I want to reach office 8 o clock. But Unable to make it habit. Office timing is flexible . Office time starts at 8.am and finish at 6 pm. with 30 to 1 hour lunch break.

You have to reach before 9:30. After that deduction starts. As software developer, I used to come late. That habit was due to we work for remote USA and European clients. And we have to give at least 3 to 4 hours over lap to client timing.

Here in Dubai, where I am working. After 7 o clock bus starts to come with delay. But before 7 it comes with in 15 minutes. It means, If you miss the bus with in 15 minutes bus will come. But if you missed the bus after 7 o clock delay will be more then 30 to 40 minutes. So I decided to come early. Here office Government strict rule for work for 9 to 10 hours. Not like Pakistan, that we have to work 24 by 7. Here we have to left office on time. Some times we have to work from home after office hours.

So I decided to come early. Its very difficult to sleep one hour early and awake a hour early. In the morning. I wasted 30 to minutes in bed just I wake. When I reach bus stand. it was 7:40.

It is unable to reach office on 8 am. I decided to give me little penalty. I called taxi and reach office 7:58 am. I have to pay 21 dhirm to taxi. No break fast.

The pain of 21 Dhirm, Hurts me. Which is 21 *60 Pkr. This pain helps me to come office. Awake early.

I think pain and pleasure helps us to change. I can spent this 21 dhirm in better way. Will this approach will work.

Every failure is missing opportunity

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I was sitting with my friend, he talks about how he fired from his first job. When his father knows this. he celebrated this event. Because, he know, it big event in his son life. Now he thinks about why this happen and what he need to improve. In true picture, fire from job is one of those event who let us think. And interestingly my friends also learned from it.

Learn from failure is one of those thing, if we implement this in our life. We will improve a lot.