Category: Self Esteem

Amor Fati

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A couple of months ago, while sitting in a gathering, I found myself wondering why certain things happen to me. It’s natural to have these feelings, especially when things don’t go according to our wishes or when we fail despite our best efforts. Many philosophies talk about accepting both good and bad fate. It’s a simple truth that we will fail at times, things won’t always go as planned, people may hurt us, and betrayals can happen. It’s natural to ask, “Why is this happening to me?” Sometimes we even question why we should put in effort if everything is predestined.

In this video, I will share:

  • What is Amor Fati?
  • Why it is important for us.
  • How it makes us strong.
  • What ancient Indian and Stoic philosophies say about it.

“Amor Fati” is a Latin phrase that means “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate.” This philosophical concept emphasizes embracing and accepting everything that happens in life, whether good, bad, or ugly. It’s not about passively accepting whatever life brings but actively loving and finding meaning in all experiences, including the challenging ones.

Marcus Aurelius once said, “Whatever happens to you has been waiting to happen since the beginning of time. The twining strands of fate wove both of them together.” As we grow to love life, we start to see the truth in his words: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Obstacles help us build virtue, and virtue is the only sure path to eudaimonic bliss.

Epictetus advised, “Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well.” He also said, “Remember that you are an actor in a play, of such a kind as the author may choose. If short, then in a short one; if long, then in a long one. If it be his pleasure that you should enact a poor man, a cripple, a governor, or a private person, see that you act it well.”

Amor Fati means accepting fate as it comes. We cannot change it, but we can accept it and move on, believing there is something better in it.

What about those things that haven’t happened yet? Often, we hesitate to act because we overthink the results and fear failure. We need to accept whatever the future holds but recognize that it is our duty to work and act.

Chanakya said, “Once you start working on something, don’t be afraid of failure and don’t abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.”

The problem is not the outcome but how wholeheartedly you work on it. Love of fate teaches us to detach from the outcome.

A similar concept is found in ancient India when Krishna spoke to Arjuna: “Therefore, only those who act without being attached to the fruits of their action, but as a matter of performing their duty, can attain the Supreme” (Gita 3.19).

Amor Fati teaches us that what happens to us or is bound to happen is beyond our control. But we should work on our tasks or goals as our duty, staying detached from the outcome. The output is beyond our control. If you give your 100%, you will never regret it.

Implementing Amor Fati in our lives makes us more responsible individuals. We become more aware of what we can and cannot control. It gives us direction in our work. Acceptance of fate helps us overcome pain and suffering, but our feelings, thoughts, and reactions are within our control.

I hope you enjoy this video. Amor Fati helps us understand more about ourselves, what hurts us, and what feelings arise when past events appear in our minds. Instead of focusing on what people think or how they behave towards us, we should focus on our response. There is a common saying that we suffer more in imagination than in reality. Amor Fati teaches us to accept fate and not be afraid to act due to attachment to the end result.

See you in the next video.

What type of impact you want to create So think before speak.

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While sitting in the office, I was communicating about Iranian food. Iranian food is tasty. I liked it.
I really like the chullo kaaba. But suddenly, it came to my mind: What am I trying to convey? What message am I going to deliver?
This message conveys that I am a food lover and that I like Iranian food.
There are two major points here: will it impact someone?
So the most important thing I release in building reputation is what type of impact you want to create on others.
So I changed my approach. But the problem is, what is the starting point? The starting point is the power of intention.
I was listening to an Operah Winfery video where she talks about the “power of intention.” She said that before the age of 40, she was a pleasing person.
So she pleases others, but when others demand more, she starts to revolt.
Then she released the power of intention. She talks about the seat of the soul.
Then she shared the idea that intention is the soul of action—it fuels passion in action.
So I decided to change my ways. I started before speaking about what type of impact I wanted to create on others.
But before deeply implementing this idea of the power of intention, I was thinking
What happened to me? Why did I start to talk about general topics? With too much work in the past, I got fed up with the same types of jobs. So I lost interest in my work.
So I started to talk in general terms. Talk about food; talk about places.
But as a result, it creates a very poor impression of me. That is a big problem for me as a professional. I am statistically significant based on the work I have done. I learned what people did not know about my work. They know about my taste in food, but not my quality of work. As a result, I became less worthy.
Certainly they have word of mouth, but how do you create these words of mouth? That is what you told others.
Who you are, what you are doing, and what are your achievements—but most importantly, what are your failures? Don’t share your failure.
That all comes from one principle, and that is intention. So I start to think in a way that makes me comprehensible. What I already achieved,
So I start thinking in terms of who I am. What have I achieved? What can I do?
So the most important thing I learned from the video of Operh Winfery is intuition. What I am gone say, what is my itension. 
Either way, that other person knows that I am a food-loving person. Or a good consultant. What I know is that I started to think in terms of
What type of impact do I want to create on others?

When someone told you I have a doctor’s appointment.

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Most of the time, we did not think before speaking. We speak because we want to share.

https://youtu.be/UB3DPtI_oPA

A couple of days ago, I learned this lesson. I got a call from my friend from the USA. We worked together in a software company, and he became my buddy. Couple of days back. He was facing a problem with sciatica, and the doctor wanted to remove the disk from his backbone. I was sitting in the room alone, seeking someone to talk to.

I got a call from him; he just told me that I have a doctor’s appointment. Instead of speaking further, I just started sharing my experience with illness. That happens; this happens; nobody cares; doctors are making money. If I just wait a few days, I can save money on all those things. When I discuss all my experiences, I feel light, but I find he becomes more depressed. He was in pain; he wanted to share. Instead of listening to him, I made him more worried. He wants to share that he has had a small operation to remove a disk from his backbone. He started weeping about what would happen tomorrow. I shared my friend’s problem with him instead of listening to him.

It was a very embarrassing situation for me. I feel that I need to change. I would not share my experience and knowledge about the problem. I just have to listen. What I learned is that whenever someone tells you that I have a doctor’s appointment, You have to just reply, “You will be well soon”. And try to listen to him and give him hope that things will be better. Never ever share your or others people stories with him.

Give them what they want, not what is require

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It is said, that in ancient China, one rich man wanted to get a mouse statue  for decoration. He held a competition, where he send request to all statute makers to participate in competition. When statue makers visited him. He told them his requirements, and held a prize who statue is so beautiful that his cat also confuse and snatch it.

On the competition day, all statute workers visited him, with his work. One young person comes with statue that is not so beautiful. When all statute placed in hall, all statue made fun of him.

But when rich man, visited the hall, he also not like his master piece.  But young man, asked him that in invitation there is requirement, that his cat will confuse with mouse is original or not.

So as per rules, cat have to decided that competition. Rich man laughed at him, and told them it is symbolic. Not actual. For just joke, he brought his cat in hall. When cat saw these mouse, instead to second look on all other mouses, she took the mouse of young person and run away.

Young person laughed and demand his prize. Because his fish was so beautiful that rich man’s cat confused and take it like a real mouse. Actually he made that mouse with fish meat.

Rich man surprised and gave him the prize.

Our life is such a way. Usually as consultant. We know what is best for client. But we have to give them what they want. Yesterday, I made a document, and they did not understand what is major meaning. They just search the exact word, they gave. So objective meanings were lost. Later I start to understand them, how they work. And produce the work as wishes for them.

Who am i.

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Issi talaash -o-tajassus mein Kho gaya  hun main , Agar nahi hun to kiyun’kar Jo hun to keya hun main

Who am i.

Most important and toughest journey is journey within. Who are you, What are you strength. What are your weakness.

What are your trigger points. From other they can control you. But there are more things. How I learn. How read.

Some people are reader. Some are listener. For getting good leader or manager you can also understand. Are you reader or Are you listener.

What are your values. Values lies what things you want in you. You qualities you want inside you. For this you have to do mirror check.

I listen one quwali. “Jaare lokakn nayee apny app nu jaan liaya, oh log juda hoo jandayee naayee”

Those who understand who are they, They are become different.

I read some where, what you do when you are alone, that is only your reality.

You have to accept your past mistakes, That helps you to peace. You have to embrace your flaws. That make you more beautiful. You have to accept yourself.

That is ultimate self love.

Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.

Ariana Grande

I was reading somewhere. In ancient time the words inscription at the temple of Oracle of Delphi “ Know yourself”.

I was sitting of my hindu friend, he talk about me all answer lie with in yourself. books, readings, knowledge generated layers on you. I was surpised that is same message what Baba bulleh shah told you. Then I feel. Possible what ever situation you have. What ever problem you face. You have to look inside you. What should you do.

I was listening Satu Guru, he told the same idea, Some one asked him Do he have knowledge of everything. He replied. he did not know everything. He just know himself. What ever question comes to him most of the time about life problems and situation. He put himself in that question and got all answers. What he should do and reply.

But here is another question. Would that answer 100 percent applicable to you. I am sure not. Because you are different form the rest of others. You have to know yourself. And remove all layers of knowledge and just seek answer with in yourself.

“Phar phar aalim fasal houon kaadif apnay aap nu parayha hee nahee”

Why you consider what others said about you.

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I was in kitchen. My resign is accepted. I was in office and I got reply on email. Deliver these things and leave. He did not want to meet me. What ever is the reason. It is normal case.

When you did not have work for some one. Its better to layoff. I am facing the same problem from last one year. Any how its better for me.

In book winning Jack Welch said that, when need of a person completed. Or services for a person is not required. Fired him. Its good for him. both in terms of weight on companies expense and for him also. He will go outside and will find something good and will grow. In USA and European market they use better term Lay off.

I was in kitchen. Two sweet ladies form admin and HR standing in kitchen. HR lady make fun of me. Boss was so busy he did not consider to meet him. And then second lady spoke. Let him go, later we discuss and talk on this asshole. I enjoyed their conversation. I felt sad about those ladies and also for my self.

But why I considering their discussion. The Four agreement book Ruiz Don Miguel said, Second Agreement nothing take personal.

Its all about them. What they think of me. And they make fun of their organization not about me. They are making fun of owner of company not about me.

My friends. Every thing that hurts you has two solution. If you can change it do it. If you can not change it, just accept it.

Many times we hurt because our mind did not accept that fact. And when ever we start to resist it it starts to hurt us. So best way is accept it and stop resist it. It will pass.

Inner light and our purpose

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I was sitting in the mosque, Mullah, speaks about purpose of life. He told us, that every one born with purpose. Purpose lies mans inside. My purpose to worship my god. Guide and help them to become a good religious person. I think he is right, we have to understand what is our purpose of life. I called it inner light.

Every person born with inner light. In the darkness, when we did not have any one to guide us. Or we lost trust on others, This inner light guide us.

With passage of time, peer pressure, responsibility and life challenges fade this light. We lost. But at the end we did not happy.

So we have to see the inner light. it is inner compass for us.

Do you have right mindset.

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Nothing easy in life. Life throw misfortune and misery on us. There are failures we have to face. But this is not end. There are also successes, happiness and moments of joys. For these situations we need right mindset. The right mindset, helps us face all possible challenges life throw at us. Best solution to all negative is right amount of positivity, Believe me it is best counter to doubts, fears and discouragement. We have to learn from failure, We have to accept them and then study and improve and move forward. But too much positivity is also not right. Being to much positive makes us careless. There should be room for negativity. That helps us to prepare for obstacles, challenges and failures, Before hand preparation to deal with them. Right mindset have both combination of positive and negative.

Putting first thing first

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Life is all about priorities. Where we focus it grows. Where we ignore it dry.

Truth is we can not do everything. But we can do something. That something is based on priorities.

When we set priority, there are two things need to concentrate. Urgent and Important.

For example currently I am over weight. It is my second most priority. My first priority is my office work. Then I focus on my health. Walking, Exercise, diet control and controlling my hunger is my second priority. Third priority is my family and their needs. And forth priority my blog, youtube channel.

How to take better decisions

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Take your responsibility of your decision.

If you stay happy if you take decision. There will be no regret if you take your own decision.

Two types of people who are decision makers, and second who are advisor.

Listen advise from those people who did something in specific area of life.

When you take decision focus on following points.

What is your present situation.

What you want or change you want as result of your decision.

What benefit you got as results.

What prices you have to pay or left things to get results.

Find you why this will help you stay focus on decision.