Category: anxiety

Lessons Learned: Accountability, Visibility, and Staying Present

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I was working on a task based on the initial assumptions and requirements available at that time. We developed the integration accordingly.

Later, the client’s requirements changed, including the integration pattern. As a result, some of the work we had already completed may no longer be usable.

The change itself was not entirely within my control. However, instead of focusing on blame, I need to recognize the part that is within my control: how I manage the situation, protect the work of my team, and provide visibility into what actually happened.

1. Defend the Work with Facts

One of my biggest lessons is that I need to be able to defend the work—not emotionally, but with facts and evidence.

I should clearly understand how resources are being utilized:

  • Which task is assigned to each resource?
  • When was the task assigned?
  • When did the resource start working on it?
  • How much time was spent on it?
  • When was it completed and submitted?
  • When was it reviewed by QA or the functional consultant?
  • Was rework requested, and why?
  • When did the rework start and finish?
  • When was the task finally reviewed and closed?
  • Was any work discarded because of a requirement or design change?

This information should become a measurable task and resource matrix.

If a project changes direction, I should be able to demonstrate clearly: This was the requirement at that time, this was the work completed against it, this was the effort consumed, and this is when and why the requirement changed.

That is not about blaming someone. It is about creating transparency and protecting the team through evidence.

2. Take Responsibility for What I Can Control

I cannot control every client decision, requirement change, or project situation. But I am responsible for how I respond.

Instead of becoming depressed, defensive, or suppressed by the situation, I need to examine the reality objectively.

What happened? What can I learn from it? What information was missing? What should I track differently next time? What action can I take now?

Every difficult situation should improve my management system.

3. Live and Work in the Present Moment

The second major lesson is to remain fully present.

If my mind is occupied with what happened in the past, I may become frustrated or defensive. If it is constantly worried about what might happen in the future, I may become anxious.

Neither helps me deal effectively with the situation in front of me.

The past is useful for learning.
The future is useful for planning.
But action can only happen in the present.

When I am fully present, I can observe the facts, understand what people are doing, ask the right questions, document decisions, identify risks early, and defend my work professionally.

So the principle I want to follow is:

Do not fight the past. Do not fear the future. Understand the present situation clearly, document the facts, and take the best possible action now.

You Are Responsible for Your Actions, Not for Another Person’s Mind

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Many times in life, we struggle because the results of our actions do not match our expectations. We do our best, yet people react in ways we never intended. At those moments, we begin to wonder, “Am I responsible for what is going on in another person’s mind?”

For a long time, I believed that if someone felt uncomfortable because of me, then I must be responsible for it. Over time, however, I realized that this is only partly true.

Our words and actions create situations, but they do not completely determine how other people think, feel, or behave. Every person interprets the world through the lens of their own experiences, beliefs, values, fears, and expectations. The same action can produce completely different reactions in different people.

I experienced this at my workplace.

The office had a relaxed and friendly environment. As a newcomer, I was naturally curious and would often look around while walking through the workspace, trying to familiarize myself with the office and the people. Later, I noticed that a few female colleagues seemed uncomfortable when I was nearby. Some changed where they sat, avoided eye contact, or appeared uneasy.

When I became aware of this, I reflected on my own behavior. I realized that although I had no inappropriate intention, my habit of looking around the office might have been interpreted differently. So I changed what was within my control. While walking through the office, I focused only on where I was going. When speaking with someone, I looked at their face or at the work being discussed instead of letting my eyes wander.

Making that change was my responsibility because my behavior was within my control.

But another question remained: Am I responsible for how other people think about me?

I don’t believe so.

People’s thoughts and feelings are influenced by far more than my actions. They are shaped by their personal experiences, upbringing, cultural expectations, previous encounters, and individual perceptions. I cannot control those things, nor should I try.

What I can control is my own conduct. I can be respectful, considerate, and professional. If I discover that one of my habits unintentionally makes others uncomfortable, I can change that habit. But once I have acted with integrity and corrected what is within my control, I must let go of what is not.

This is an important distinction.

I am responsible for my intentions, my words, and my actions.

I am not responsible for every thought, assumption, emotion, or judgment that another person forms about me.

Understanding this difference brings peace. It allows us to improve ourselves without carrying the impossible burden of managing other people’s minds.

Why implementation of knowledge is important

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Have you ever noticed that raw iron has almost no value?

It’s just a lump of metal pulled from the earth.

But when a blacksmith heats it, removes the impurities, shapes it, and forges it into a sword, a tool, or a machine part—its value increases dramatically.

Why?

Because value is created through knowledge, effort, and application.

The same principle applies to wisdom.

Today, we have access to thousands of books, podcasts, videos, and philosophies. But simply knowing something doesn’t change your life.

Knowledge alone has no value. Applied knowledge does.

Taoism teaches us to flow with life instead of constantly fighting reality.

Zen teaches us to be fully present in this moment, not trapped in regrets about the past or anxiety about the future.

Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control and let go of what we cannot.

These ideas sound powerful—and they are.

But they remain just words until you practice them.

Reading about patience doesn’t make you patient.

Learning about discipline doesn’t make you disciplined.

Understanding wisdom is not the same as living it.

Just as raw iron becomes valuable through fire and craftsmanship, wisdom becomes valuable only when it is forged into action.

Don’t just collect knowledge. Transform it into behavior. That’s where real value is created.

Perfection is enemy of good

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In life, we find many people who are waiting for the perfect moment to change their lives.

They wait for the perfect job so they can succeed.
They wait for the perfect life partner.

But in the end, they never move—they stay stuck in life.

In software development, there is a term:
“Ship it — imperfect is better.”

Let’s see how we can apply this idea to our personal lives.

Hello friends,
My name is Ali Raza Zaidi. I am an ERP consultant, software developer, and part-time content creator.

When I was relatively new in my career, I worked at a place where Oracle was implemented. One of their ERP implementations had failed. Then a new IT manager was recruited, and he started working on fixing things.

He decided to develop a custom warehouse management solution for the organization. With three months of effort, we were able to build a solution.

At that time, the solution was working, but it had many bugs.

The IT manager decided to launch it anyway.

We were afraid—what would happen?
There were issues in the system. We thought end users might lose confidence in the software.

But we launched the product, and users started using it.

We found many issues, but with another three months of effort, we fixed them one by one. Slowly, things improved, and the system became stable.

They called it a mature system.

💡 What did I learn from that lesson?

Sometimes, perfection makes us stuck.
We become unable to deliver.

When we keep seeking perfection, we end up delivering nothing.

I saw a similar example in real life.

One of my college fellows came from a wealthy family. When we graduated, I couldn’t find a job in a big company, so I started with a very low salary.

Meanwhile, my friend kept complaining:
“The salary is too low. I’ve spent a lot of money on my education.”

He never started his software career.

Eventually, he moved to the US and ended up working as a cab driver. I believe he is still complaining about life.

⚡ The reality is:

In life, we need momentum, not perfection.

We don’t need the perfect time to go to the gym.
We can start small—just go and begin.

If you miss a day, go the next day.
Keep trying.

I have another friend who is a very good writer.

One day, he shared his diary with me. His writing was excellent.

But he never started a blog or a YouTube channel.

Why?

Because he was waiting to write something perfect.

🧠 What I believe:

A not-perfect post that is published
has more value than a perfect one that is never posted.

As a software architect, I have faced many situations where things didn’t go as planned. There is always negative feedback.

But in reality, customers don’t want a perfect feature after three months.
They want something useful that works today.

That’s why in software we use Agile:

  • Decide a small portion
  • Build it
  • Test it
  • Deliver it

Delivery is important. Until we deliver, we cannot get feedback.

And feedback is the source of improvement.

There is also a possibility that the paragraph you delete
might have resonated with a reader.

There is an 80/20 rule which says:

80% of progress comes from 20% of effort.

Perfection usually takes much more time than “good enough.”

🚀 What does “Ship it” mean?

It does not mean you ship garbage.

It means:

  • Functional over flawless
  • Useful over perfect

We need a mindset shift for that.

Instead of waiting for the right time,
set a clear deadline.

Instead of focusing on being flawless,
focus on being useful.

Instead of worrying about critics,
focus on early adopters.

Instead of polishing the edges,
make sure the core works.

🔥 The bottom line:

Done is better than perfect.
Momentum is far better.
Momentum is a better teacher than stagnation.

When you deliver something imperfect,
you are not failing—you are starting.

So:

  • Write the draft
  • Write the code
  • Do basic testing
  • Send the proposal

The world does not need perfection.
It needs your contribution.

From Gautama Buddha:

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”

Overthinking is a trap.

Presence + Action = Progress

There is a Japanese concept called Wabi-Sabi, which means finding beauty in imperfection.

It teaches us:

  • Nothing is perfect
  • Nothing lasts forever
  • Nothing is ever complete

The thing you are spending too much time perfecting
may not be as important as you think.

And after delivering it, you might discover something even better.

🌿 Final Thought

Flaws are not mistakes — they are character.

Why we share our problems with others ?

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Troubles are like babies, they grow larger by nursing -Lady Holland
We often share our problems because we seek relief. We want someone to listen so that our stress feels lighter. Sometimes, we believe that by sharing, our problems will be solved—or at least become easier to accept. Speaking about them gives us a temporary sense of comfort.

But the reality is different.

Everyone carries their own burdens. Most people are not truly interested in hearing about others’ problems. People usually meet to relax, to laugh, and to momentarily escape their own worries. When we repeatedly share our troubles, others may feel irritated, emotionally drained, or begin to avoid us altogether.

This is why silence is often wiser than sharing.

I once read that worries increase when we share them with others, but decrease when we sit with them in silence. Silence forces us to face the problem directly, rather than spreading it outward.

Many times, those who seem eager to listen are not genuinely concerned. Some people are drawn to stories of struggle because it reassures them that someone else is stuck, failing, or suffering. They may enjoy the information, not your healing. They care less about what happens to you and more about the fact that you have problems. Sharing with such people only deepens our vulnerability.

This is why Gautama Buddha taught:

“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”

If speaking does not bring clarity, peace, or wisdom, then silence is the better choice.

Stoic philosophy echoes the same truth: focus only on what is within your control. If a problem is beyond your control, worrying about it—or discussing it endlessly—serves no purpose. Accept it, and redirect your energy toward what you can change.

Similarly, some Sufi saints advise:

Share your problems only with Allah, in prayer. Do not share them with people—because no one can truly solve them for you.

Prayer, reflection, and inner dialogue strengthen the soul. Complaints weaken it.

In the end, silence builds resilience. Awareness brings acceptance. And responsibility for our problems always begins—and ends—within us.

One timeless truth of life is the present moment.

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If there is one mantra for success, it is this: do your best in the task at hand.
The only way forward is to fully commit to what you are doing right now.

A better future is built by the efforts you put into the present moment.
Meditation simply means focusing on the now—being fully engaged with what you are doing.

Even the idea of “practice makes perfect” is nothing more than repeating the same task with full attention, without letting negative or distracting thoughts pull you away—thoughts like “I should be doing something else,” “This is boring,” or “This isn’t important.”

Remember, life is short. Imagine that tomorrow might be your last day.
Then give your 100% to your work, spend time with your family and friends, and honor what truly matters to you.

When life’s reality strikes you

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When life’s reality strikes you…
When all hope seems lost…
When every door is closed…
What should you do?

When you’re the best in your field,
Yet still can’t find a way forward,
The only thing left is to hold onto hope.

Sing the song of resilience.
Rewrite your story.
Seek out success stories.
Look around—there’s inspiration everywhere.

Give your all to what you do.
Take a moment to meditate.
Chant with focus.
Believe in a higher power.

Rumi said “If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.”

Is it too risky ?

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Yesterday, I was in the company of friends.
One of my friends shared an idea about setting up a food stall at the corner of the local market. We told him it was risky.
Then, another friend mentioned his plan to change careers. He had already found an opportunity, but we told him it was too risky.
Later, another friend shared his weekend plan to visit a hill station. We warned him that it’s risky these days.
Late at night, as I was coming home from work, I thought about visiting the local park for a walk. But my mind reminded me: “It’s midnight—it’s risky.”
The next day, my son told me he wanted to start riding a bike. His mother immediately said, “You’re too young—it’s risky.”
Another friend confided in us about his dream to visit the mountains and climb the highest peak in our country. I told him, “That’s too risky.”
Even one of the young kids I know opened up about his crush, wondering if he should talk to her. He hesitated, thinking, it’s risky.
That evening, I reflected on all these moments.
“What is risky?” I asked myself. Everything seems risky. Our minds often focus on the dangers, the failures, the rejections, or the losses.
But what if we thought differently?

What if we succeeded? What if the food stall became a thriving business? What if a career change brought growth and fulfillment? What if visiting the hill station brought peace and adventure? What if climbing that mountain brought happiness, joy, and a sense of accomplishment?
Of course, there’s always risk.
But isn’t not taking the risk an even bigger one?

How to be overcome the future anxiety

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Lao Tzu said that

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

It’s human nature that we either think too much about the future or think about what happened to us in the past.

Neither we have to live in the future nor we have to live in the past. Thoughts can not be controlled. When we resist a thought, it gains more power. Whatever you resist, persist.

In this video, we discuss anxiety about the future. And how to deal with it.

In my deep analysis, I discovered that two types of fear appear in our minds when we are anxious about the future.

Fears about relationships and careers.

If you are a father, then usually parently related problems start to appear in our minds.

What is the future of my son, my daughter, or both?

Will they become successful in their lives? I feel they are not responsible yet.

If you are a teenager, then anxiety about relationships with your partner or loved ones will come to mind.

Teenagers will also experience exam-related fears. What is my future? Will I pass the exam, Will I get admission to the Big University?

If you’re a professional, most of the time you’re anxious about your professional challenges.

Will my job continue?

Will I get my next promotion?

Then, as time passes, the fear of aging and experience becomes increasingly irrational.

Sometimes, we are worried about certain situations and what people will say about them.

The solution is a three-step process. If you follow this, then you will definitely overcome your future anxiety.

Step number 1: Write down your worries.

Calm down, everyone has this anxiety problem. Thoughts come into everyone’s mind. Some people manage to overcome these thoughts, but those who are unable to do so often fall into depression.

Pick a copy pencil or digital note-taking app and write down what comes to mind.

Step number 2: Write down possible scenarios.

When you write down all your worries, express them more clearly. Write down three scenarios for each worry or fear.

What is the worse case, scenario?

What is happy  scenario? What if things go according to our wishes?

What will be normal scenario, i.e., life will remain the same with neither improvement nor bad.

Step number 3. Ask questions about the solution.

It is said that

“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself”

Write down the following question for each worst-case scenario:.

Is it worth my attention?

What can I do differently to ensure that this situation never occurs?

What skills do I need to learn to stay relevant in any situation.

What should I do if that situation happens.

What small step do I need to take today to ensure that this situation never happens?

What you need to do is slightly different from today, and the outcome will be different.

What new skills and behaviors do I need to learn to achieve different results?

Step number 4: Take action.

Most of the time, we are worried about things that never happen.

Remember, my friends, nothing happens until we take action. Start working on what you decided in step number 3.

If we are still worried and thinking about things that may happen, life never changes. Life will change only when we take action. Start focusing on those things that help to prevent that bad-case scenario from happening.

Avoid worrying about things that are beyond our control.

Things that are irrelevant and out of our control require no action. The only thing we can do is let them come and go. When these worries come into your mind, just remind yourself that these things are beyond my control. I cannot do anything about this.

But those worries, for which you can do anything, just focus, remind yourself that you are already working on, and take small steps so that situation happens, You will be well prepared and handle the situation.

In conclusion, we often worry about events that are either unavoidable or beyond our control. We can only make changes when circumstances are within our control. We must decide what we can do for those things and begin working pro-actively to achieve them.

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