- The secret to speaking effectively
- What is secret. there is open secret.
- Before speaking we have clear understanding, at what level of audience you have.
- Before speaking you to think what is message you want to convey. Simply begins with end in mind.
- What is starting point.
- Use story telling style. Human mind understand stories well. If you start,
- Set context. The background.
- Understand, transition points.
- When you switch from one point to another.
- And then practice.
- Some people are born with nature gift of speaking. But as Angela Duckworth said in book Grit “…as much as talent counts, effort counts twice.”
Tag: Communication
Why assertive communication is important
Suppose you are working on assigned tasks. Your tasks are not completed. Your boss has arrived and is assigning you additional tasks. And ask to complete those tasks. He set unrealistic deadlines. To meet these unrealistic deadlines, you spent extra hours overworking. The result is buggy. You are not producing outstanding results.
Because you avoid conflict, you have to accept more and more work. And as a result, you were unable to meet the expectations. And became a B-grade employee. Despite the efforts, implementations of ideas, and suggestions, nothing changes, and the situation becomes worse day by day.
The management frequently complains about your work. Your performance is declining daily.
Is there a lack of communication here? No, you’re speaking with your manager. But your communication style needs to change. You definitely work on a few things to make an impact. Let’s discuss three communication styles and how you need to change for better communication if you want different results.
Passive communication.
Passive communication’s primary goal is to avoid conflict. To achieve this, you strive to conceal your emotions and thoughts about your task. You must suppress your emotions and thoughts, allowing others to make decisions on your behalf. It results in frustration and dissatisfaction at work.
This situation usually leads to a lose-win situation.
Aggressive communication.
The main theme of aggressive communication is to focus solely on your own needs and feelings. Aggressive communication often suppresses the feelings and thoughts of co-workers. When confronting others, it is always defensive and aggressive.
Aggressive communicators invade other people’s personal spaces. Or, never let another person speak.
Assertive communication.
The main theme is honest communication about your thoughts and feelings. The theme is to share what is actually happening. Instead of suppressing other people’s needs and wants, we need to communicate in such a way that others will feel respect for their ideas and feelings. In assertive communication, the communicator needs to communicate challenges and hurdles to their task.
Assertive communication is a win-win situation. It implies that while respecting others needs and wants, the communicator also asserts his own.
Why does it matter?
Why assert that communication matters? It matters because passive people are generally frustrated, unhappy, and dissatisfied with other people’s needs. Passive people cannot comfortably share their opinions or needs. They constantly worry about the other person’s happiness. They strive to cater to the needs of others.
But assertive people are more balanced in their ability to put themselves first and consider others. While assertive people are happy, they balance their needs with those of others.
Now let’s come back to the example mentioned at the start of the video.
When the manager assigns you a new task, you have to describe your current situation. If the manager assigns you a task with an unrealistic deadline, you must explain why. You must explain to him how much time it takes to complete the task.
In closing notes, Assertive communication is necessary for career growth. People love assertive people who listen and care about others while considering their own understanding of matters and providing the solution to the problem at hand.
I hope you like this video. Please subscribe to our channel.
If you want people have listen you follow this
I was standing in office. A person who is acting solution architect. Purpose us “how to conduct session in right way”. And why it is important to do things in this way. My another fallow colleague is little aggressive nature. Also wanted to prove himself. He wanted to drive things by his own way. He also have THE cons and pros his approach of work. Both wanted to share their opinion And more importantly, How things need to be done and required form top management. Both tried to argue. But as result heated debate. I was silent. Just listen and Ignore. Later one of guy was also angry with me, why I did not support him. And why not I tried to clear the situation. But I was just listen and ignore.
At that time I was concluded that both these guys have no authority to dictate us how to do work. Or We need to work in specific way.
How top management instructed us, we have to do things in their way. We have to follow. What if I do things in different but better way. Will our work is acceptable to management. They have to judge things in their own point of way, and we want to do things according to their requirement, or as compare.
These two people were just trying to share their experience. We did work in that way and it was working. And they fought to explain that things would need to done in this specific way.
But my experience said that we have to work according to requirement of management.
If you don’t have position or authority. Either you are subject matter or not. Keep silent, spoke only if asked. If you have position of power. People listen to you. In Punjabi we said
” Jadya gahar daanay othaye kaamaly we saayanaye”.
If you are nothing or low in ranking, no body listen to you. So You need to get position, try to take more responsibility, prove yourself and get position of authority. If you did not have position, If they ask you your opinion. Give them otherwise keep silent. Unfortunate sad truth is, world saw wealth and position before listen to other person. We have to follow the same.
Second point is it important to justify yourself, why to do things in specific way. My way is better than you. Why I am doing this and due to certain reason. Why we need to prove ourselves.
Third point, if some person want to share his opinion to you. Listen him with respect. But ignore him. Simple strategy is heard but not listen. There are noises in environment. But we did not listen these noises. We just listen those sound, which we want to give attention. There is no benefit to focus or give attention to everyone. Always focus on priority.
Dont waste time to share your opinion, until asked, Follow the authority, Ignore all, others just distraction. If you want people listen yourself, prove yourself and try to get position and go up to corporate ladder .. Get position and people follow you.