Worries only eat today’s Joyful moments

I am new to company, manger called me all the team to go to client side. But ask me to report to the head office. It was shocking for me. After coming from the office, I had at least 3 hours. I wanted to spend an hour reading news and watching YouTube videos about what was going on. 1 hour to write an article or blog post. And an hour on my pending book summary. But that message made me a little worried about what would happen next. They will fire me because, within the last three months, I have been unable to deliver anything tangible. They show me that they are not satisfied. I am working to my full capacity. They told me I was a little slow. As I get older, I become slower. I do things with patience. That something is true; I have to gain expertise in Microsoft Excel. Anyhow, truth is truth. I accept those things and focus on what I can improve and what I cannot improve. After that message, I got depressed. What will happen? They will fire me. Possible. As they told me, you are doing a good job. We are no longer counting on you. Everything is possible. But I was too depressed. I stop everything and go to sleep. The whole night was dressed. I woke around 3:30 a.m. Stressed, I wanted to go outside, see the sky, and pray to God. Help me, Lord. Help me, Lord. Then I went to sleep again. I wake up early in the morning and take breakfast disheartedly. What will happen?What will happen? Finally, I reached the office. I sent a message to the manager that I was in the office. He called me Ali. Wait, we have little contact with the client for payment, so work for our office and do testing. As soon as the problem is resolved, I will tell you to visit the client side. I realized that the game was something else; I just overthought something and worried about something that would never happen. Actually, I completed one functionality, and I did a lot of functionality testing. And helped them complete it. Today it will be demonstrated with the client. And they did not want that I closed it. They want credit for someone else. Or they did not want it, as I claim. So the moral of the story is that I have to not worry. Worry did not let us take action. Worry only destroyed today’s joy. Instead, what should I do? I have to accept it. Ok, that is not happening now. Let’s see what happens. The third thing is that I cannot do anything if they fire me. One day, it will happen. It is the private sector; anything happens at any moment. At that time, when I had some spare time to improve myself, I wasted it worrying. So remember,

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

Mark Twain

As one quote from Will smith said

The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is the product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

Mark Twain

When someone told you I have a doctor’s appointment.

Most of the time, we did not think before speaking. We speak because we want to share.

https://youtu.be/UB3DPtI_oPA

A couple of days ago, I learned this lesson. I got a call from my friend from the USA. We worked together in a software company, and he became my buddy. Couple of days back. He was facing a problem with sciatica, and the doctor wanted to remove the disk from his backbone. I was sitting in the room alone, seeking someone to talk to.

I got a call from him; he just told me that I have a doctor’s appointment. Instead of speaking further, I just started sharing my experience with illness. That happens; this happens; nobody cares; doctors are making money. If I just wait a few days, I can save money on all those things. When I discuss all my experiences, I feel light, but I find he becomes more depressed. He was in pain; he wanted to share. Instead of listening to him, I made him more worried. He wants to share that he has had a small operation to remove a disk from his backbone. He started weeping about what would happen tomorrow. I shared my friend’s problem with him instead of listening to him.

It was a very embarrassing situation for me. I feel that I need to change. I would not share my experience and knowledge about the problem. I just have to listen. What I learned is that whenever someone tells you that I have a doctor’s appointment, You have to just reply, “You will be well soon”. And try to listen to him and give him hope that things will be better. Never ever share your or others people stories with him.

Seeking our own Path.

I have dream of visiting a graveyard, There buried lovers like suhni mahiwal, writers, Sant, shadu, big names. On one place, a saw a person, who is highly successful. I asked him, what is way to be successful. With hands he point towards a cemented stairs, without stair case leading to somewhere up. I don’t believe in dreams, but for sure, it is result of our sub-conscious mind. What I was understand, what my subconscious mind trying to told me, that built your own way. It means, all successful people are those who do things in their own way.

Actually what will happen. The whole day, I was working on document to provide the answers, why these things are just fit.

I was also learning a something new. the area, which I never explored. Some blogs on internet and nothing. Microsoft own notes are not sufficient. I was constantly asking this question, what to do, whom I took guidance. How someone else did this implementation.

In the morning, management will accept my answer because they all non technical. One manager, is already concern doubt on me.

My subconscious mind try to answer my question. That make your own way. study the matter, understand the requirement. And use your own path.

In the sufi way, its called Tariqat. In Arabic Tariqat is the way you do things, Also called Path. In sufisim, Tariqat means, your own way.

What is meaning of your own path.

Stop seeking Guidance : Many times, we are at level, that no body helps us. Its very difficult situation. We reach at certain level.

Some times, we can not ask questions. Nobody at our level or see things from your point of view.

All answers lies in side your. You have clear understanding of situation.

Darad under day under wasson, Bahar karran tay gahil huu.- Couplet from Sultan bahu.

All pain and suffering lies inside me, If I share it, I can be victimized.

Seek knowledge. Learn through observation, how things handled by others, Listen to your environment, People trying to teach you.

study blogs, study tutorials, Listen to others. Read books.

Apply knowledge:

Third is apply knowledge. Without applying nothing found. Experience comes from apply knowledge. And then reflect on it. What benefit we found after apply knowledge. Do things in your own way.

Communicate: Start communicate, start sharing your knowledge, how you apply them, what benefit you found after applying these knowledge. Speak about it.

The difference between, successful and loser is execution. Both have ideas, but successful person, execute the idea.

I am not saying don’t seek guidance. Without guru, teacher, and guider, we did not reach at certain point. But in life, sometimes, we reach a point, where no one guide us. In these situation, stop seeking guidance. Take a lead. Study the topic, stop asking questions, seek knowledge, start communicate, And start apply knowledge by trusting your own guts. No body comes to help you.

My own believe that, when a such a point reach, when you cant ask questions, And unable to take decision. Start listening what people are saying around you. they are discussing their own matters, there own problem. Just start observing people what challenges they are facing and how they handle these. Keep silent, just listen. You will find answer to your problem, without sharing and without asking, Just listen.

anxiety , depression, thinking,

Transform Your Life: Uncovering the Secrets of an Overthinker with a Consultant Mindset I Over Thinking I Stop Thinking I Consultant I Mindset

watch this video in the link above ….

Hey guys welcome to consultant mindset. I hope you guys are doing great. Overthinking is quite common these days.  We tend to overthink every scenario. What does overthinking mean? Overthinking is when a person tends to ruminate over things repeatedly. The biggest assay mark of overthinking is that it is unproductive and it does not yield any good to your health. An overthinker often feels disrupted by even the smallest of criticism. He tends to pound his head upon that particular criticism. Overthinking does not let you do anything novel. Overthinking makes you stagnant in one place. Your skills and time get wasted eventually. Overthinking inflicts stress upon your mind as well. Constantly thinking about the same things all over again not only drains your mental health but also makes you feel frustrated. stress is good but everything is suitable in its limit. A small amount of stress lets you feel bounded to do a certain task. Whereas the extreme amount of stress disrupts your mental health. So you should know the difference between the amount of stress. Why overthinking is common these days? 

Overthinking can be provoked by different factors. Such as people having anxiety problems already may find it easier to develop overthinking habits. Whereas people suffering from depression and other mental issues may find it easy to develop overthinking as well. The fear of getting hurt by someone does not let them be at peace.

Overthinking is just unpaid permanent employment. although  It makes you feel agitated and sleepless yet, unavoidable. In short, it has become a necessary evil. Once you become addicted to it, there’s no way back. In today’s era, many people are already suffering from mental health issues so, it is quite easier to develop overthinking habits. 

There is a remedy to every problem. Let’s just find some easy ways to overcome this self-destructing habit.

How can we lessen overthinking?

Finding Distractions 

well, there’s just this popular saying that an empty mind is a devil’s workshop. Likewise, when we tend to stay inactive and useless, we become more prone to overthinking. We tend to ruminate over even the smallest of things. Instead of doing nothing, it is better to indulge yourself in other life activities where you can remain distracted. Distractions are quite necessary to keep yourself busy with productive things. For example, you can find those  things that interest you. Reading books, cooking, and playing video games or sport helps you stay away from unnecessary thoughts. Find those things and hobbies that make you feel more motivated and relieved. In this way, you will be away from overthinking for quite some sometime.

Try Helping Others

An overthinker always thinks that he is not good enough.  He always thinks bad stuff about himself and ruminates over such thoughts like “Maybe I’m not good enough”, ‘maybe they are offended by my words” etc. Always thinking negative things and not giving yourself some space is the biggest flaw of overthinking. Helping others is a way by which you can think good about yourself. You feel relieved that you are doing something good with your life. An overthinker needs constant reassurance and can get those by helping the needy. Helping others gives off a feeling of accomplishment and cheerfulness. Try doing it more often.

Recognise Your Accomplishments

If there is not anyone to lift you. Then you should become your hero. Constant reassurances hold significant importance in the life of an overthinker. If nobody recognises your accomplishment, then becomes your change. Take a notebook and write down your accomplishments on it. The accomplishments don’t need to be humongous. The smallest of success gives a feeling of calmness and serenity. For example, if this week you get to finish your all delayed tasks then it is an accomplishment. Write it down and praise yourself.

Try Taking Actions 

An overthinker develops his imaginary world. He tends to remain in that domain and avoids the rest of the world. He tends to give off answers to every question in his head only. He never actually wants to face the crowd. Try taking action instead of being stuck in one place. Being stagnant in one place makes you feel algal and rotten. The only one who can break the web of overthinking for you is you. None can do that for you. You have to work hard to bring change. If you have misunderstood the words of anyone then go ahead and ask them, Instead of banging your heads on the same stupid thoughts. Sort things out instead of holding them close to your heart. This way you will realise that nobody is interested in your life. It’s just you that thinks everyone matters. However, in the end, only you matter.

Embracing Fears

Instead of acting like a coward, reach out and face the situation. The feeling of fear is temporary if you face the fear. But it becomes permanent when you tend to avoid it. Build up the courage and embrace your fears. The strongest person is the one who doesn’t fear anything. Whereas weak mindsets always tend to fear something. So what are you waiting for? 

Let your fears out. And live life.

That’s all for today’s. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Do Dreams impact on our life

Did dream impact on life. Yesterday I saw a dream, I saw similar type of dreams, couples of time.

A lot of cats attacking me. And I am fighting with them.

Do dreams have impact on our life. I think, it is reflection of what we think all the day, or it is our subconscious mind. It reflects our fear. And interestingly our dream comes in deep sleep.

Life is full of stress. When I start tracking my sleep. I found, that most of the time my sleep is normal.

It varies between 5 to 9 hours. Some time it is less than 4 hours or even 3 hours per night.

Less sleep is result of stress or result of our fast place night life.

It was deep sleep. In the morning, I feel little discomfort feeling still sleepy. Ramdan is going on. And I have fasting. Without taking Iftar. But so did not take tea, or coffee. I need good amount of nicotine.

So dream creates in our subconscious mind. It is result of thoughts most of time negative in  our mind. Why negative, most of time we are hard wire with negative thoughts. That is due to our survival instinct.

From stone age to till modern day. Danger is everywhere. Anything we do, possible result in negative results.

How we have to defend ourself in the case of worse.

Most of the time, our sub-conscious mind warn about something. When I search about a lot of cats attacking me and I am defending myself and fighting against them. It means, my mind warns about a of challenges. As I am beating them. It means, I am facing them. But problems exists.

Later I found, that I involve in many different type of works in my life. For example

I want a cooking youtube channel. I want motivational channel. And then I want a blog. And then one channel for my professional so I can stay updated and can show myself as expert in my field.

And then I have 9 to 5 job full time. And as project goes move smooth. It requires a lot of challenges as well.

Same time I want to lose weight. And Also want to learn arabic.  Then I also want to talk to all of my friends and family member.

So all these things need time and attention. According to my understanding, my subconscious mind try to tell me to focus on small subset of things to get results. Al these appears to be as cats.

So my mind told me to stay focus on a few things and deliver them in good way. Instead to make a lot of challenges. Just focus on a few.

Focus on yourself not others.

My horoscope that if Don’t go for Errands. Errands means, Do something for someone else on behalf.

How accurate my horoscope said. Sometimes surprise myself. Most of the time, we wasted our time. Instead we focus how we need to finish our own task doing well. We start to judge and help others how they need to do things. Today happens the same. My boss present a single slide what he need to present to top management of client. I have a lot of things to do, to finish things up. But instead focusing my work  and make it better and better, I intentionally start helping him  that things should be in that way, he should improve his work and things need to change.  He never asked my opinion. I even don’t know who is target audience whom he will going to present. Neither I am responsible for what he is going to present. The only point I have in my mind, that he is going to present whole team, so I need to help him.

Then I saw my horoscope on Horosocope.com. I surprised, it is accurate, no need to consider what other do,  I have to just focus on my improvement. What best thing I had to do is, access the issues and limitation on other work and used this this input for my own work. There are two reason for that.  One is people did not like criticism. It hurts they ego and they become enemy. Even if asked, never give the opinion. Until, he or she is your best friend, where he or she understand, what you are saying is benefit for them. Even then try to avoid it.

Second. It is nice way to understand other weaknesses and instead give them feedback. You need to check, are these things in you. Improve it.

Life is continues process for learning. We can not help people, until they realize by themselves, what need to improve and how to improve. Our only duty to improve ourself. If 1 percent daily. Learn and Improve.

اگر آپ افسردہ ہیں تو آپ ماضی میں رہ رہے ہیں

اگر آپ افسردہ ہیں تو آپ ماضی میں رہ رہے ہیں۔

“اگر آپ افسردہ ہیں تو آپ ماضی میں رہ رہے ہیں۔
اگر آپ فکر مند ہیں تو آپ مستقبل میں رہ رہے ہیں۔
اگر آپ سکون میں ہیں تو آپ حال میں رہ رہے ہیں۔

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/knrj-7fsvLs

کچھ صبر کے بارے میں

صبر کیا ہے. آج مجھے اس کے بارے میں اپنی سمجھ بیان کرنی  ہے۔ صبر ہے۔

https://youtu.be/ztd74ko_ZuM

تاخیر، مسائل، یا تکلیف کو ناراض یا پریشان ہوئے بغیر قبول کرنے یا برداشت کرنے کی صلاحیت۔

عربی اور اردو میں اس کے مترادف لفظ صابر ہے۔ اس مضمون کو تلاش کرنے کے دوران میں نے  قرآن کو بھی صبرکے بارے میں  بیان کرتا ہوا پایا۔

صبر کے ساتھ ایک لفظ اور آتا ہے جو کہ استقامت ہے۔ قرآن *قرآن، 3:200 میں بھی اللہ تعالیٰ نے اس لفظ کا ذکر فرمایا ہے۔

صبر کے  سادہ الفاظ میں  مطلب ہے ایسی چیز کو برداشت کرنا جسے آپ پسند نہیں کرتے۔ کچھ ایسی چیزیں ہیں جن کا ہم  سامنا کر رھے ہیں  اور جن کا  کوئی حل نہیں ہے۔ اس معاملے میں عام طور پر کہا جاتا کے  “پٹر صابر کر” ۔ بچو تمہیں برداشت کرنا پڑے گا۔

 لیکن یہاں میری سمجھ کچھ مختلف ہے۔ صبر کا مطلب  ہے  اگلی بار ایسا نہ ہو اس کی تیاری کریں۔ یا اسی طرح کی صورت حال کو سنبھالنے کے لئے تیاری  کریں. اگر آپ  بہتر نہیں ھوے  یا سیکھا نہی  تو آپ صبر  نہیں کر رہے ہیں۔

فرض کریں میں دیر سے جاگتا ہوں اور دیر سے دفتر پہنچتا ہوں۔ اور نتیجتاً باس ناراض ہو کر آدھے دن کی کٹوتی کی ہدایت کرتا ہے۔

میں صبر کے ساتھ اس کو برداشت کر تا  ہوں۔ کیوں کے  میں کچھ نہیں کر سکتا. لیکن یہ صبر نہیں ہے۔ صبر ہے۔ دوبارہ اس غلطی سے بچنے کی پوری کوشش کرنا ۔ مجھے صبح سویرے جاگنا ہے اور وقت پر دفتر انا ہے ۔

کئی بار نتائج نہیں آتے۔ ہم کوششیں کر رہے ہوتے ۔ ہمیں صبر سے کام لینا ہوتا ہے ا۔

سب کچھ اپنے صحیح وقت پر ہوتا ہے۔ یہاں ایک بار پھر سمجھنا   ہے کہ نتائج کیوں نہیں آرہے ہیں، یا تو ہم صحیح کام کر رہے ہیں یا یہ فطری عمل ہے کہ نتائج مخصوص وقت کے بعد آیئں گے ۔

مثال کے طور پر وزن کم کرنے کی کوشش کرنا۔ نتائج 3 ماہ میں آتے ہیں۔ ہمیں صبر اور استقامت سے کام لینا ہوگا۔ ایک دن نتائج آئیں گے، یہاں صبر میں امید بھی شامل ہے۔ 

آج  کے لیا اتنا  ہی کل ملیں  گے کسی نے ٹوپک کے ساتھ ۔