ایسا محسوس ہوتا ہے کہ دوسرے لوگ آپ کو غیر تعاون کرنے والے یا سخت شخص کے طور پر جان سکتے ہیں۔
اس سوچ سے، ہم نہیں نہیں کہہ سکتے کیونکہ اس طرح ہم پچھتاوے کا شکار ہوتے ہیں ۔
ہم سوچنے لگتے ہیں کہ اگر ہم نہیں کہیں گے تو اس سے دوسروں کو مایوسی ہوگی اور دوسروں پر منفی اثرات مرتب ہوں گے۔
بنیادی طور پر، ہم سب لوگوں کو خوش کرنا چاہتے ہیں۔ – براہ مہربانی.
حال ہی میں، میں نے پیٹی بریٹ مین اور کونی ہیچ کی کتاب “How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty” پڑھی۔ یہ کتاب اعتماد کے ساتھ نہ کہنے کے بارے میں بہت سے نکات فراہم کرتی ہے۔ اور ہم فکر، جرم اور اضطراب کے ان جذبات کو ہمیشہ کے لیے کنٹرول کرنے یا ان سے چھٹکارا پانے کا حل جانتے ہیں۔
https://youtu.be/W2YrxOQ9UUs
یہاں ٦ ٹیک ویز ہیں:
1. نہ کہنے کا سب سے اہم فائدہ یہ ہے کہ آہم ان سرگرمیوں کے لیے وقت اور توانائی کو بچاتے ہیں جن سے ہم لطف اندوز ہوتے ہیں۔ لیکن اصل میں نا ، بہت سے لوگوں کو ناراض کرسکتا ہے . تاہم، ہم سب کو مطمئن نہیں کر سکتے۔
2. ہمیں یہ سمجھنا ہوگا کہ ہماری ترجیحات اور اقدار کیا ہیں۔ جسمانی اور ذہنی صحت کے لیے کیا ضروری ہے؟ ہماری ترجیحات ہمیں بتاتی ہیں ، کہ کب نا کہنا ہے۔
3. نہ کہنے کے لیے آسان الفاظ استعمال کریں۔ معافی مانگنے یا بہانے بنانے کی ضرورت نہیں ہے۔ بس اتنا کہیے، “میں ایسا نہیں کر سکتا۔” بس اتنا کہیے کہ نہیں شکریہ۔ اگر آپ بہانے بنایں گے تو بحث ہوگی، اور وہ آپ کو دلائل میں گھسیٹیں گے اور آپ کو قائل کریں گے۔
5. نہیں کہنے کی مشق شروع کریں۔ ایک چھوٹی سی بات سے نا کہنا شروع کریں؛ بعد میں، آپ بڑے سے انکار کرنے کے لیے اعتماد پیدا ہو گا ۔ آہستہ لیکن فعال طرح سے شروع کریں۔
6. اگر آپ جرم محسوس کرتے ہیں، تو اپنے بارے میں سوچیں، نہ کہ دوسرے کیا سوچتے ہیں۔ لوگوں کو خوش کرنے کے لیے نہیں۔ اپنی وجہ بنائیں اور اسے خود تک رکھیں۔ اپنے آپ سے اچھی باتین کریں ؛ یہ آپ کے جرم کے احساس کو مٹا دے گا۔
7. اپنے انکار پر ثابت قدم رہیں۔ ذہن میں رکھیں کہ آپ کی ہاں دراصل نا ہے۔ اور اگر انکار سے بچو گے تو بعد میں تلخ ہو گی۔ مضبوطی اور نرمی سے نہ کہیں۔
یاد رکھیں کہ دوسروں کی ضرورتوں کو اپنی ضرویات پر ترجح نا دیں یہ عدم اطمینان کا باعث بنتا ہے اور وقت کے ساتھ ساتھ آپ کی خوشی کو تباہ کر دیتا ہے۔ خود کی دیکھ بھال کی مشق کرنا اور ترجیحات کی بنیاد پر فیصلے کرنا آپ کو بہتر نتائج فراہم کرنے میں مدد کرتا ہے اور آپ کو دوسروں کے لیے پورا وقت دینے کے قابل بناتا ہے۔
I am new to company, manger called me all the team to go to client side. But ask me to report to the head office. It was shocking for me. After coming from the office, I had at least 3 hours. I wanted to spend an hour reading news and watching YouTube videos about what was going on. 1 hour to write an article or blog post. And an hour on my pending book summary. But that message made me a little worried about what would happen next. They will fire me because, within the last three months, I have been unable to deliver anything tangible. They show me that they are not satisfied. I am working to my full capacity. They told me I was a little slow. As I get older, I become slower. I do things with patience. That something is true; I have to gain expertise in Microsoft Excel. Anyhow, truth is truth. I accept those things and focus on what I can improve and what I cannot improve. After that message, I got depressed. What will happen? They will fire me. Possible. As they told me, you are doing a good job. We are no longer counting on you. Everything is possible. But I was too depressed. I stop everything and go to sleep. The whole night was dressed. I woke around 3:30 a.m. Stressed, I wanted to go outside, see the sky, and pray to God. Help me, Lord. Help me, Lord. Then I went to sleep again. I wake up early in the morning and take breakfast disheartedly. What will happen?What will happen? Finally, I reached the office. I sent a message to the manager that I was in the office. He called me Ali. Wait, we have little contact with the client for payment, so work for our office and do testing. As soon as the problem is resolved, I will tell you to visit the client side. I realized that the game was something else; I just overthought something and worried about something that would never happen. Actually, I completed one functionality, and I did a lot of functionality testing. And helped them complete it. Today it will be demonstrated with the client. And they did not want that I closed it. They want credit for someone else. Or they did not want it, as I claim. So the moral of the story is that I have to not worry. Worry did not let us take action. Worry only destroyed today’s joy. Instead, what should I do? I have to accept it. Ok, that is not happening now. Let’s see what happens. The third thing is that I cannot do anything if they fire me. One day, it will happen. It is the private sector; anything happens at any moment. At that time, when I had some spare time to improve myself, I wasted it worrying. So remember,
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
― Mark Twain
As one quote from Will smith said
The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is the product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
Hey, guys welcome back to our channel consultant mindset. We hope you guys are doing great. Life is all about ups and downs some days are cheerful while some are gloomy. We cannot have a bunch of cheerful days throughout life. The significance of happiness in our lives will not be understood until there is the existence of its opposing force in the universe. It is important to have some gloomy moments in life so that happy times can be acknowledged. You cannot always succeed at work and can always win in your competitions at school. You will have those failure moments to make you realise the fact that downfalls are important to improve yourself. We cannot always be the best version of ourselves and it’s okay. Human beings are full of flaws and limitations and it is okay to have such inadequacies because we are designed this way. Do you ever feel unworthy and failure? In this video, we will uncover some ways by which you can try to make your every day the best version of it. Stay tuned until the end. Before that don’t forget to like, share and subscribe to our channel consultant mindset.
Prioritising sleep
In the contemporary age, people have a disrupted sleep cycle due to which they are facing challenges in their lives. Mental issues and health issues are the common challenges these days due to which individuals face trouble being the best version of themselves. How do you prioritise sleep? The biggest enemy of your sleep is excessive screen time. Cut short your screentime to a minimum amount so you may able to build a reasonable sleeping schedule. The emission of blue light from mobile phones or various other electrical devices suppresses the production of melatonin in the body due to which the schedule get disrupted. To improve your sleeping schedule it is highly advised to reduce your screen time, create a comfortable dark environment and make yourself calm and composed. Quality sleep is highly crucial for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.
The regulation of your whole day’s routine plays a significant role in stepping up the game of your routine. A healthier lifestyle aids you in becoming the best version of yourself. A well-disciplined life is a key to success because everyone can be motivated but not everyone is disciplined enough to keep on carrying the pace of tasks. A well-defined and structured morning routine makes you disciplined and consistent in your daily life activities. Going for a walk or designing a plan for your morning routine like playing your favourite sports, practising meditation, reading your favourite books and many more. A good healthy morning is a spark to continue the rest of your day with optimism and healthy vibes.
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.
Do you guys plan your day? Making plans for all-day activities and then breaking them into smaller simpler steps so that you can achieve them easily is an easy approach to fulfilling your tasks. We often face challenges completing our main important task merely due to procrastination or else being involved in other trivial tasks. Organizing your daily tasks and writing them down on a piece of paper releases a sense of motivation and responsibility. In the beginning, it is acquired to set achievable and reasonable goals because we have to work smart instead of hard. Keep a check on your regular tasks and manage them accordingly. This way you will be away from the burden of organizing your task; the burden that even keeps you away from approaching the tasks.
Social connection
The effect of surrounding relationships cultivates a great impact on our mental and physical health. For instance, if you are in an unhealthy relationship with your spouse then there are fewer chances that you will be able to give the best version of yourself. Being depressed and anxious about your unhealthy ties with your spouse reduces your efficiency and downregulates the process of bringing out the best in you. Always surround yourself with positive support and keep yourself with people who are always cheering for you. Never let any individual enter your optimism circle to let you down. Moral support is a gem which can make us achieve even the impossible things. Be aware of your circle.
Continuous learning and practising gratitude
Have you ever thanked God for all the existing bounties in your life? If not, then it is a golden chance to thank God for all the bounties you have. Being grateful for all the small things you achieve in a day releases a sense of satisfaction which is a positive sign to proceed further. Keeping a journal and writing all the good things in it will help you keep a track record of how grateful you should be for having a wonderful life. On the other hand, an individual should never stop learning because learning is that weapon which acts as fuel to ignite you moving forward. Start reading books and listening to podcasts fosters a growth mindset which will aid you in developing a revolutionary mindset. Learning every day is important because learning is the revolutionary step towards a better lifestyle. Instead of pounding your head on the same repetitive thing, it is better to bring the required changes.
Concluding the whole video, by applying the little portions of the above-mentioned techniques you can try to turn your every day into the best day. If not completely best, it can be close to best so it is still a better option. I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
Do you see the light through magnifying glasses? If you focus that light on a single point, it creates fire.
Yes, we need that sharp focus to achieve anything in life.
Where we focus, life grows. There are a lot of failures in life. There are a lot of successes.
But actually, where is the success? You will find extreme focus there. After certain failures, setbacks, and finally success,.
Its true. It’s really important to stay focused. Our inner critic told us to do something else. But we have to keep our focus.
Focus on what you want. I tested it based on my own experience. If we pay attention, we can achieve almost everything.
Like light, focusing on a single point creates fire on paper. We have to find our magnifying glass. Our magnifying glass is our reason for wanting to do something.
There is one book, “Deep Work.” It talks about focus work. According to the author, if you want to produce something that is not easily replaceable, you have to do deep work. Focus work.
He defines two types of work. Shallow work and deep work
Shallow work is what we usually do. Check your email, check the WhatsApp app, and then start working again.
Deep work. We have to focus on our work. without distraction.
Hey guys welcome back to consultant mindset. We hope you guys are doing great. A human needs a person in life with whom he can share all his serious and comic thoughts relentlessly. Some people have such a person in the form of parents while some have it in the form of friends or siblings. A true friend is a gem which is a bounty for the beholder and only some have access to such gems. A true good friend holds a special importance in one’s heart. Do you guys have such quality friends in your life? If yes, then let us know in the comments section about their good traits. Good friends make your life meaningful and add more colours to your life. They are emotionally and mentally part of your life and never hesitate to help in your hour of need. They are always connected with you and they care for your mental well-being. Sometimes, making or finding a true best friend is tough because the majority of the people existing in this society are merely using people like toys. How do you know if your friends are true to you? There are certain qualities associated with true friends only which can help yu identify your true friends.
A true friend makes you feel understood
Understanding in a good relationship plays a vital role in determining the life of that relationship. Every relationship requires a certain level of understanding between individuals so that things can work out. Likewise understanding between two friends holds great importance. Not everyone can understand us like our parents do with whom we live for life. But developing an understanding with a stranger like a friend is an elite element of friendship. A true friend is one who always understands you and never fails to give up on you in any trial. According to psychologist, Dr Leon Seltzer being understood by someone has an impactful effect on your well-being. We only feel good around those people with whom we feel emotionally attached and understood. A good friend is the one who always understands your stance, and who always tries to see life through your lenses. They put themselves in your shoes and try to comprehend the situation. They are always here when you are at your lowest and always support you in your weak moments.
They are natural givers
A true friend is one who never fails to provide you with the necessary things in the hour of need. They are always there when you need them the most. They make sure you are living a standard life and there is no problem with it. They always try to solve your problems even when they are related to parental issues. They always offer you things and never demand anything in turn that’s what you call an unconditional bond. True friends are selfless and they always want the best for you.
They don’t talk behind your back
Do you guys gossip? It is a common practice these days and people do it more often at workplaces, colleges or sanatoriums. A loyal friend is the one who never talks behind your back and says whatever it is to your face. They never hear bad things about you and they always try to lift you behind your back. They may appear rude to your face but are your biggest supporter behind your back. They never say bad things about you and one who tries to spread rumours about you, they bring them down.
They dont judge you
People are most authentic around their true friends because they are aware of the fact that their friends won’t judge them. They present their true forms to friends because they know regardless of any situation their friends won’t judge them and can never be against them. A good friend accepts you in your true form and never fails to put you down in any condition.
A friend knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.
— William Shakespeare
A true friend doesn’t have childish expectations
A good friend expects realistic things from you instead of childish things like asking you for the stars or the universe. A true friend is one who expects things from you on a ground basis and does not expect unrealistic things. If your friend doesn’t expect unreal things from you then you are blessed to have such a gem of a person.
They take real pleasure in helping you
A fake friend is the one who always puts your matters behind their trivial tasks. They never take your matters seriously and always show little involvement in your matters. On the other hand, a true friend never perceives it as a burden to help you; they are always available for you, especially in your hard times. They always prioritise your matters and always see your benefit in the situation instead of their own benefit.
They can be genuinely happy for you
A true friend is always genuinely and truly happy for you; he never fails to celebrate your accomplishments. He is sad in your sadness and is happy in your cheerful moments. You will always see a genuinely happy friend cheering for you and always smiling at you.
Do all these traits exist in your friend? If yes, then you are extremely lucky to have them in your life.
Concluding the whole video, a genuinely true friend is difficult to have in life. If you have all the mentioned characteristics in your friends then you are blessed to have them. That’s all for today’s video. Stay tuned for amazing content.
Buddah said that cutting your desire will lead to less suffering. Why we have pain from an event is due to our expectations. But the truth is, we did not suffer from what actually happened. But from the story we tell ourselves about what happened, that creates suffering. Our expectations are the actual cause of suffering. The best way to avoid suffering is to take life as it is. Some people consider it Hukam, what happens, it was due to divine decision. It should happen in this way. Hukam is usually punjabi knows; this word means accaptance. Hukam is solution to suffering. Sometimes we resist the reality. So the best solution to that is acceptance. Remember, what we resist persists.
Reyan was asking to get electric cycle. I told him get good results, but after effort he did not get good results. He failed many times.
I tried much, I provide him resources, but until, he is not willing to get good grades, no one can do that.
Today when I got his whats app message, I become little hursh on him.
I told him not to obssessed with anything. If you got it, then its fine, If not then let it go. We never get everything that we want.
Focus on your education. And when you got good grade, I will help you to purchase that. I did that by two reason.
We did not get everything, even kings has limit. Second, until you put efforts, than you understand that worth of efforts. Other wise you take things for granted and , you stop value those things.
But those moments, were very cruel for me. I feel the pain Reyan is facing. I felt many times, when things are beyond my reach. Many places, even I tried to achieve something but even tried I unable to achieve those things. So I just focus on my efforts, and detach from the output. Not every wish fullfil.
Hi friends, Today I am going to share the book summary of “Traveler Gift” by Andy Andrews.
This is the transformation story of a person who tried to quit his life, but during qoma, he met seven biblical and historical figures who gave him different advice, and after awakening, he implemented those seven lessons in his life to improve his quality of life.
The story of a person who is in his mid-40s is about almost failure in everything. His daughter was in the hospital, full of debt. He was in desperate need of money for his only daughter, but due to stress and aggression, he was fired from his job. In total disappointment, he started to think that, due to his inability to meet the needs and expectations of his family, he should quit his life. He thinks that is the only way to provide a better future for his family. After his death, his wife will find a good husband, and that person will take care of his girl. On a cold winter night, he hit his car into a tree. As a result, he went to Comma.
During this period, he met many historical and biblical figures, and he even met himself in the future.
All these people gave him their wisdom. I am going to share this wisdom. And if we apply this wisdom to our lives, our future is bright, regardless of our age.
Lesson 1: Harry S. Truman: The buck stops here.
David met first with Harry Truman. Harry Truman talks about how the first lesson is to accept the responsibility of life.
You have to accept the resuscitation of the choice you made in the past. Responsibility for who you are now is a result of your past choices. Our actions are directed by our thinking. If we want to have a different future, we have to make different choices. We have different ways of thinking and acting. We stop blaming our present situation on our parents, friends, wives, and relatives. We have to accept responsibility for our thoughts and actions. We consider every problem an opportunity to grow and learn.
The past is gone, but the future is still in our hands.
Lesson 2: King Solomon: I will seek wisdom.
In his second visit, David meets biblical figure King Solomon. He advised David to seek
wisdom.
How to prepare for the future is by seeking wisdom and taking responsibility.
Most of the time, we took inspiration from the people with whom we spent time. If we take
company of cursed and complaining people, we also develop a victim mindset.
It is a common saying that we are the average of five people with whom we are associated in life.
We have to guard our association. Intentionally or unintentionally, we follow our mentor in life. For example, Solomon explains that his father was his mentor. Your teacher, uncle, actor, or any other figure will possibly be mentioned. So seek wisdom from their lives.
We have to take the present problems as challenges, and facing these challenges will result in a better future. We have to increase our wisdom by reading books, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, and observing and studying the lives of successful people.
Seeking wisdom to overcome the thoughts, doubts, and fears in life
Lesson 3: Col. Joshua Chamberlain: I am a person of action.
Third wisdom. David got it from Joshua Chamberlain, who taught David that the only solution to all problems is to take action.
Take charge and take action. Even if we do not have all the necessary resources, we can still take action. What is best possible? We have to. Many times, we did not take action and stayed in the same location. In life, we take decisions quickly and do not let change happen. They take decisions and start taking actions. With these actions, they will no longer be afraid.
They did not fear other people’s opinions, gossip, idle chatter, or all those things.
For men of action, failure is a myth. Failure exists only for the person who quits.
Lesson 4: Christopher Columbus: I have a decided heart
The fourth lesson David learned from Columbus was to have a detached heart and ignore what people think about him.
The truth is the truth, whatever the situation. The truth is never dependent on the opinions of others.
Many people did not make efforts to change due to fear of the opinions of others and were doomed to mediocrity.
If you worry about what other people think of you, which results in you having more confidence in them than in yourself, poor is the man whose future depends on the opinions and permission of others. The only solution to criticism is that you will die doing nothing.
To achieve something, you must have a decisive heart. Many people fail because they lack a decisive heart. They are not committed from the heart.
“Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. Should I? Should I not? Go forward? Go back? Success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart.
“Getting started, getting finished—both ends of a journey require a demonstration of passion.”
Passion only comes from the heart. Its product is a heart decision.
Lesson 5: Anne Frank: Today I will choose to be happy.
In his next visit, David meets Anne Frank. She provides her way to always stay happy, regardless of the situation.
Whatever condition we have or whatever challenges we are facing, it’s up to us to stay happy.
What ever is in us that takes us to the top, instead of what color or race we belong to?
Happyness is the result of certain thoughts and activities, which are actually chemical reactions.
In body. So we have to focus on these thoughts, which makes us happy.
The smile is our calling card.
Many times in life, we have to face injustices based on color, race, and nationality. But absolutely, what matters is what is inside us. It’s like a balloon; whatever its color or size, it goes up due to what’s inside it. It does matter what we think. Similary, we have to choose what we think to be.
Lesson 6: Abraham Lincoln: I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.
On his next trip, David meets the present Abhraim Licon. Lincon described how important it is to have a forgiving spirit.
People make mistakes, either intentionally or unintentionally. Hurt us. If we are in a leadership position, we have to deal with people. We can use their strength only when we are able to forgive them. They make mistakes and make wrong decisions.
Lincon takes David to the graveyard. It shows that our hearts are like graveyards. You have to bury disappointment, anger, frustation, misbehavior, and other things here. As in the past, all events that occurred in the past are now dead; bury them.
The only way to become a good husband, father, or leader is to forgive others.
In a similar way, when someone hurts us or does not meet our expectations, we become angry. When we were going to sleep, those moments came into our minds. And we did not get good sleep.
There are two types of forgiveness we require: forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and failures Why? Because, instead of focusing on future outcomes, we were struck by the past. The second is unconditional forgiveness for others.
We all have failures in life and in business, but we all have success in our lives. But if we are still thinking about failure, we will not stay happy due to our success. So to enjoy the present moment, better sleep, and the company of our friends, we need to be forgiven.
Licon also advises David about the quest for power. Before that, Davide, think that power is wrong. But Licon told him that power in the right hand results in good things. If you have power, then you can help your management deliver more.
Lesson 7: Gabriel the Archangel: I will persist without exception
The next lesson that Ponder learned was from the archangel Gabriel.
Archangel Gabriel told David that he would persist without exception.
Successful people always focus on the outcome. There is a possibility that the process is not enjoyable, long, and boring, but they pressurize without exception only due to their focus on outcome.
Gabriel asked David, “Is he a man of faith or a man of fear? It means that in our lives, there are two main motivational forces: belief that I can do it or fear. We do things out of fear of something, like being fired, having someone else win, or being shown less than us. fear that one day we will be empty. Both are different.
We have to be men of reason. Why do we do things that we do? We definitely have reasons.
Gabriel, it’s up to us how circumstances affect us. Circumstances are excuses for poor men. It is the wise man who recognizes opportunities and uses them to his advantage.
To be a wise man, study, get lessons from the circumstances, and apply that knowledge to get a brighter future. A depressed person usually overthinks what will happen to him; instead, he focuses on what he actually wants and how he will achieve it.
A depressed person faces the situation and overthinks,
Average people usually compare themselves to others and achieve something, but successful people also compare themselves to their true potential. What they can achieve if they realize their full potential
Hi friends, I hope you like the book summary.
So it’s our time; whatever the condition we have, we have to take charge, take responsibility, be happy with what we have, whatever the condition we are, and have a dedicated heart. and take action, because without action, nothing is accomplished in life. The desire to work with others and for the betterment of ourselves is forgiven; there is a graveyard in our hearts where we bury our anger, expectations, and other things others said to us. If we still think about what others say or think about us, we will not reach where we want to reach. We have to be persistent, without exception. In the case of difficulties, frustation, and disheartness, we have to focus on the outcome. There are two types of motivation in life. Fear and faith Focus on faith. faith in the certainty of the future
