Patience Patience my friend patience is name of game.

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We Pakistani are very impatience nation. We need everything urgent. And when results are not coming we become impatience.

Today I was standing in Business Bay metro station and waiting for Bus. And it was not coming. Waiting waiting and waiting. It took 15 minutes to come. I was impatient. Why It usually came with in 5 minutes. Why late. I am getting late form office. My target to reach office at 8 o clock. Office hours are flexible we have to reach before 9:30. It took almost 28 minutes to reach office from Business bay metro station to office where I am working at the time of writing this post. Then I realize that where is problem. Problem is in bus that it came late or I did not make margin of this extra time.

rumi quote came into my mind. “ When I was young, I want to change the world. Now I am wise, I want to change myself”.

What about I start my journey to office 15 minutes early. If I forget to charge my mobile. Why not have extra mobile charger in my laptop bag. What if, I make a plan one day a head.

Life never goes according to our plan. I have to add some margin in it.

Mr Jimmy Dean or If he was possible Pakistani then certainly his name would be Jimmy ul Dean once said.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

I read some where, “ Successful people are those who do self evaluate themselves”. And Self Evaluation is really painful. Difficult and painful to accept that fault, mistake or situation happens due to your lack of knowledge or proper handling. Only then you have to correct it. Acceptance requires patience with self.

Patience means, bear the current situation and be prepare that this situation never happen. or happen you have to handle it in better way.

Why its important to write down what’s in your mind.

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In GTD David allen said, “Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.” It better to write down everything. what ever in comes in mind.

The problem is we forget things. Because a lot of things going a round us. Our focus changes from point to point. Different people need our attention. And what Idea comes. What important task we need to complete, we forget. So You need simple diary. Pieces of paper or some note taking app on computer. Note down everything. It will help you to remember things. later you can add more information on these noted thing. Add and remove things. Which completed, which need to complete or no need to work on.

how to plan your Week Effectively I how to Overcome Procrastination I Avoid Procrastination

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Are you tired of procrastination? Are you tired of delaying your tasks? You should try making a planned week to overcome the habit of procrastination. Most of the time people delay important tasks because of laziness and sluggishness. Planning a week helps you remain organized and managed. It helps you to remain oriented toward your tasks. Since delaying things has become extremely common so it is better to practice planning a day. When things are organized they become easy to handle. Tangled things seem difficult to handle and that’s why we often tend to delay them because from the external view they seem tangled. Because of the fear of being entangled we tend to avoid such tasks for as long as possible. 

 Procrastination can be overcome by building routines. A routine is a set of good habits that are being followed every day. We should be able to distinguish between good habits and bad habits. A habit once built remains instilled in a person’s head for a long time. For example, if a kid is used to taking a longer path to school every day. Then about after 3-4 days, he starts taking that longer path without even realizing it. Such unconscious things become imprinted and saved in the part of our brain. Some research done by MIT has shown that this finding is correct. Some advantages of planning a week are 

  • It saves your energy 
  • It clears your thoughts
  • Makes your goals clear
  • You become always prepared to handle certain situations
  • It improves your focus and attention 
  • Makes you stronger in your decisions
  • Helps you manage time 

We can start by building a routine. Do we tend to snooze our daily morning alarm? The answer to this question is yes. Most people have this habit of snoozing alarms. Instead of snoozing in the morning, alarms get up from bed and make some healthy habits of exercise, meditation, and making a healthy breakfast. These healthy habits will become slowly instilled into your brain. Realizing what you are going to achieve. Acknowledging your goals is an important part of planning a week. Acknowledge what you want to achieve. Do you want to spend more time with your loved one? Or do you want to do a specific important task?  Do you want to organize an important business meeting with colleagues? Firstly become aware of what you want to achieve. And then make a to-do list. Now the point arises that you have ten important tasks. How would you know which task has to be done first? There comes prioritisation. Prioritise your tasks. The task that is extremely important and is going to provide you with benefits shall have to be done first. Deadlines of the tasks can be taken into account as well. Once your goals become aligned it becomes easier for you to achieve them.

You must assign yourself tasks, not on the exact morning. But on the previous evening, you can wake up with a calmer head with no stress and anxiety at all. The time focus technique is needed these days. Because a human brain cannot focus on one thing for a very long time. For example, if you expect me to sit in front of a computer and work for straight four hours then I won’t be able to fulfill the task efficiently. I will be sitting in front of the computer but my thoughts would be to go outside and have some fun. This problem can be overcome by doing your tasks in short intervals. Doing a task with multiple breaks is done in no time and keeps you motivated. It simultaneously increases your efficiency for the task. Eliminating distractions while doing a task helps you do the task faster. For example, the biggest distraction these days is a mobile phone. Phones won’t let us stay focused and attentive toward our tasks. They tend to keep us distracted. With mobile phones, we cannot work properly. They tend to remove our attention. It is better to switch them off. So that you can work easily. It is advisable to make a to-do list before performing your task. Helps you keep the motivation up and makes you organised. In the end, it is important to do a reflection. It is important to acknowledge whether you have achieved your desired accomplishments or not. Are you satisfied? It is important to have the answers to these questions.

Inner light and our purpose

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I was sitting in the mosque, Mullah, speaks about purpose of life. He told us, that every one born with purpose. Purpose lies mans inside. My purpose to worship my god. Guide and help them to become a good religious person. I think he is right, we have to understand what is our purpose of life. I called it inner light.

Every person born with inner light. In the darkness, when we did not have any one to guide us. Or we lost trust on others, This inner light guide us.

With passage of time, peer pressure, responsibility and life challenges fade this light. We lost. But at the end we did not happy.

So we have to see the inner light. it is inner compass for us.

How to Reduce Aggression in Children I Dealing with Aggressive Toddlers

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Are you also tired of your children’s destructive personalities? Are you annoyed by the aggression and anger of your kid as well? The answer to these questions is that behind every action is buried unaware reasoning. As a parent, it should be considered why your kid behaves a certain way. What is the main reason behind it? Children impersonate their parents in every field. The first school of education for a kid is his/her parents. He /she learns everything from their parents. Parenting is defined as the set of instructions and regulations given by parents that helps a kid eradicate defects from his/her personality and become stronger in his character. They copy their parents and develop an instinct to learn. According to some surveys and research done, it is come known that the destructive behaviours of children are mostly due to the pressurised and noxious behaviours of parents. The destructive behaviours of children are induced by parents themselves.

watch this video in link of YouTube channel 

        Lack of communication is the key problem of noxious behaviour among children. Proper communication plays an integral role in grooming the personality of children. Parents who   tend to live in the past are unable to have proper talks with their kids. They tend to behave aggressively for the things that have been done to them in the past. Since they can not let them go, the children have to face the chaotic behaviour of their parents. Children impersonate their parents so they tend to copy their chaotic and aggressive behaviour as well. In this way, this behaviour becomes integrated into kids as well.

Whenever we feel like our kid has become aggressive or is throwing toys and some other stuff like this. It is an alarming situation that we should identify what is going on with her/him. To find out first look after your behaviours and manners. Because parental behaviour is reflecting upon their minds and thoughts. Accepting mistakes in front of your children is a prime step towards their better personalities. Some parents do not accept their mistakes in front of their children. Due to their egos and authoritarian style, they are unable to apologise for their mistakes. Since children copy their parents they tend to think that way as well. If my father is not admitting that certain fault then why would I accept my mistake? The kids will eventually behave in that manner. Parents stress themselves out by always finding faults within their children. They should keep this thing in mind that children are divine creations as well. And as the saying says To err is human; To forgive is divine. Always looking for the mistakes of your children will make you depressed and stressed out. Just thinking about their good personality traits will make you feel blessed and blissful. There are certain ways of talking to a kid. If you talk to them aggressively they will develop it as a habit to talk to every person aggressively and fiercely. And If you talk to them politely they will talk to everyone in a kind manner. 

Constantly instilling your child’s brain with words like ‘you cannot do this”, “you are useless”, and “you do not know anything”. These negative approach sentences will make them feel useless. The physical damage inflicted upon children can be healed but the emotional damage can never be healed and results in long-lasting impacts on kids’ minds. It should be binding upon a parent to avoid using such gloomy conversations with their kids. The ultimate step of a parent is to lift his/her kids in every situation. Never let them down. Let them feel proud and glorious that you are their parents. In this current era parents and teachers barely have time to communicate with kids. Parents are busy with their work whereas teachers are always concerned about the completion of their syllabus. However, it should be taken into account that the character building of a kid is as important as other education. Parents should take out 15 minutes from the day to have a little conversation with their kids. Asking them if they have any problems or if they are doing well in their studies and sports will help children learn a positive aspect about their parents.

Set priority before starting work

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Set priority . In organization, we usually work in different project and same time. some task are big and some are small. All these task are important.

But we have to do these task on the bases of priority. We can not do all these task same time. Because officially we have only 8 to 9 hours to work.

And truly speaking. we have only 5 hours to work. Rest are discussion, meetings and chit chat or dealing with office politics.

So If any task comes. Ask them about its priority. For this you have make a list of task. And update daily its status.

I prefer to make a list o daily status task on google sheet. Some people use trello, kanbanflow and even notions.

I feel google sheet is good for office relate task and status. When you got any task. update that status sheet.

And when management wants something show from there.

Always work on priority based work. Remember Eisenhower matrix. It helps you to deliver things.

Is reward or penalty help us to correct ?

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I want to reach office 8 o clock. But Unable to make it habit. Office timing is flexible . Office time starts at 8.am and finish at 6 pm. with 30 to 1 hour lunch break.

You have to reach before 9:30. After that deduction starts. As software developer, I used to come late. That habit was due to we work for remote USA and European clients. And we have to give at least 3 to 4 hours over lap to client timing.

Here in Dubai, where I am working. After 7 o clock bus starts to come with delay. But before 7 it comes with in 15 minutes. It means, If you miss the bus with in 15 minutes bus will come. But if you missed the bus after 7 o clock delay will be more then 30 to 40 minutes. So I decided to come early. Here office Government strict rule for work for 9 to 10 hours. Not like Pakistan, that we have to work 24 by 7. Here we have to left office on time. Some times we have to work from home after office hours.

So I decided to come early. Its very difficult to sleep one hour early and awake a hour early. In the morning. I wasted 30 to minutes in bed just I wake. When I reach bus stand. it was 7:40.

It is unable to reach office on 8 am. I decided to give me little penalty. I called taxi and reach office 7:58 am. I have to pay 21 dhirm to taxi. No break fast.

The pain of 21 Dhirm, Hurts me. Which is 21 *60 Pkr. This pain helps me to come office. Awake early.

I think pain and pleasure helps us to change. I can spent this 21 dhirm in better way. Will this approach will work.

Do you have right mindset.

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Nothing easy in life. Life throw misfortune and misery on us. There are failures we have to face. But this is not end. There are also successes, happiness and moments of joys. For these situations we need right mindset. The right mindset, helps us face all possible challenges life throw at us. Best solution to all negative is right amount of positivity, Believe me it is best counter to doubts, fears and discouragement. We have to learn from failure, We have to accept them and then study and improve and move forward. But too much positivity is also not right. Being to much positive makes us careless. There should be room for negativity. That helps us to prepare for obstacles, challenges and failures, Before hand preparation to deal with them. Right mindset have both combination of positive and negative.

What is your truth your satya

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But the word Satya creates impact on me. I was watching Kota factory tv series on Netflix. Where the favorite character . Jithu bahiya, usually use the word “Yahi Satya ha”

“to tomarah yaa saatya hayee”. I think the word “Sach” is also derived from the same word Satya.

satya means your reality. your truth.

I think Jithu bahiya use the word “Yahi satya ha”. means accept or under your reality and then start taking decision. Need to know your current reality and then decide what you need to do.

“Naee bounayeen rakaheen saye phaalye, yaa jaanh zaarori kaye purani kaayeeon baath gaeen”.

Before setting new foundation, you need to understand why old ones foundations did not work.

So I need to know my satya, before you start to understand yours.

Before that I know my own reality. Mara Satya kaya hayee.

Putting first thing first

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Life is all about priorities. Where we focus it grows. Where we ignore it dry.

Truth is we can not do everything. But we can do something. That something is based on priorities.

When we set priority, there are two things need to concentrate. Urgent and Important.

For example currently I am over weight. It is my second most priority. My first priority is my office work. Then I focus on my health. Walking, Exercise, diet control and controlling my hunger is my second priority. Third priority is my family and their needs. And forth priority my blog, youtube channel.