Why short term goals are more important

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Goal-setting is essential in life. Those who achieve success in life often have specific goals in mind. Some have written goals; others keep them in mind. The law of attraction, or manifestation, only works when you have goals. The only difference between a wish list and goals is the deadline. Until we begin working towards achieving them, goals remain merely wishlists. 

Why is goal-setting important?

Know what you want and set future goals to be happier and more successful. Goals help us sense where we are going and focus on the objectives we want to achieve. In times of adversity, it gives us motivation and keeps us inspired. Goals are also helpful in assessing our progress. Goals help us become more accountable, and we can improve our accountability in work and professional life. Direction and Focus: We reach some places, but we do not have clear goals. But there are problems. But on the other hand, there are also problems. Sometimes we set unrealistic goals. We spent too much time just thinking and planning. When you start putting in effort and results are not coming, instead of adjusting our sail, we start to be frustrated. My personal experience has shown that our long-term goals often lead to problems. It’s very unclear what the situation will be after 10 to 15 years. The human mind can perceive a situation for a maximum of three months, which allows us to understand our current circumstances from a vantage point. Our vision cannot go beyond 3 months.

Recently, I read a few quotes that all had a similar message. Lord Chesterfield said,

“Take care of your minutes, and the hours will take care of themselves.”

Lord Chesterfield advised focusing on the tasks you need to complete at the moment to reach your goals. Leave the hours to consider how you want to plan out your life.   Then, in the near past, Ramana Maharshi, an Indian guru, had two similar quotes.

The first one is “Engage yourself in the living present. The future will take care of itself.”

“Why should you concern yourself with the future?” You don’t have a comprehensive understanding of the present. Take care of the present; the future will take care of itself. “

These three quotes mentioned only one thing: just focus on the present moment. To focus on the present moment means to concentrate on short-term goals. Why is it important to have short-term goals? The secret to success is to set short-term goals. Short-term goals are visible and easily achievable. And more importantly, you can verify what you achieve.

 In Dale Carnegie’s How to Start Living and Stop Worrying, I read a quote from Thomas Carlyle.

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly ahead.” 

 Long-term goals are just vision. They hide in mist and dust. We cannot see far from now. If you still have long-term goals,. Then just write down these goals. Just set short-term goals. Align these short-term goals with your long-term objectives and concentrate on them. I hope you like this video. If you have goals, then you certainly have a happy life. Your future is bright. If you don’t have goals, drift along. Just start sitting down. Write down what you want and start from where you are. Life will not change until you do not start acting.

The most effective way to engage in a conversation

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  • Practice small talk.
  • If it is face-to-face, then you must know the other person’s interests.
  • face-to-face.  Listen to another person in conversation.
  • Let them speak.
  • Listen focus.
  • Repeat and rephrase other words.
  • Encourage others to speak.
  • Take a pause, then share your point of view.
  • Listening helps us understand other people’s points of view.
  • If you disagree, then criticise his words or sentences, but never attack another person.
  • Avoid personal attacks.
  • Share your idea and its benefits.
  • Share what you think the other person points out, as well as why your idea is better than his or hers.
  • Give other person to save pace.
  • Conclude on common points and agreement.
  • If another person’s point of view is right, accept him.
  • The other person should sense that you are listening to him.
  • If there is a formal meeting, let them win.
  • Try to win only when it is necessary and something you want to achieve.

Circumstances don’t cause pain

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  • A couple of years ago, I thought that what I am now was the result of circumstances.
  • I cannot be changed. I was shaped by my circumstances.
  • These circumstances cause pain and suffering in my life.
  • I was wrong. I was responsible for where I am now.
  • My actions shape my future circumstances.
  • But to some extent, circumstances are responsible for my actions and decisions.
  • The situation in which I made decisions and took actions created additional circumstances.
  • Our circumstances definitely have an impact. But how we react to them. How we take actions.
  • Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. Nido Qubein
  • We begin to assume responsibility for our lives on that day. Circumstances have become our starting point.
  • Circumstances create pain; instead of suffering, we move forward.
  • Very interesting quote from Napoleon “Circumstances-what are circumstances? I make circumstances.”

There are three ways to learn anything.

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  • I was listening to a podcast where he discussed the concept of learning by doing. I think he is right. One of the most effective methods for learning anything is through hands-on experience. For example, if you want to learn programming or human language, you must practice or do it.
  • The second way is observation. Remember, when you visit a motorbike or car mechanic, young interns are merely observers. They are helpers, but they learn with observation. How are others doing? You observe and then do. Children learn anything from their parents. I continue to learn from my experiences and from the actions of others.
  • Teaching is the third method. If you want to learn any subject, start teaching it. When you are explaining anything to others, our minds think in different ways. Do you remember the rubber duck method? When you are unable to solve your programming problem, use the rubber duck method. Pick a rubber duck and start explaining it to him. Your mind solved the problem.

The secret to speaking effectively

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  • The secret to speaking effectively
    • What is secret. there is open secret.
    • Before speaking we have clear understanding, at what level of audience you have.
    • Before speaking you to think what is message you want to convey. Simply begins with end in mind.
    • What is starting point.
    • Use story telling style. Human mind understand stories well. If you start,
    • Set context. The background.
    • Understand, transition points.
    • When you switch from one point to another.
    • And then practice.
    • Some people are born with nature gift of speaking. But as Angela Duckworth said in book Grit “…as much as talent counts, effort counts twice.”

What is Stoicism

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Introduction

It was stated that 2000 years ago, there was a king named “Marcus Aurelius.” Despite his immense power, Marcus Aurelius did not behave like other Roman emperors. He left behind his personal dairy. He never intended to publish it, but later in 1558, under the title “Meditation,” it emerged as one of the most fundamental pieces of stoic literature in existence. Medication is a collection of 12 books that chronicle Marcus Aurelius’ perspective on the world and his personal struggles, as detailed in his memoirs.

Indifference

Stoics have perfect indifference. This implies that I am disinterested in things that hold no significance.

The simple meaning of indifference is to not focus on things that are beyond our control. Indifference means to only focus on those things where you can make an impact. Work on it and make a difference.

The Stoics posited that, from a human perspective, there are two types of situations. There are situations over which we have control. Secondly, there are certain aspects of life that we cannot influence.

The second-most important Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, mentioned in his work “Enchiridion” that most things are beyond our control.

Epictectus defines exterior  and interior factors. Exterior factors like friends, colleagues, family members, the economy, and politicians. The way our bodies decay with age is an external thing.

We can influence external factors, but our influence is limited.

According to Epictus, the interior things are our thoughts, our behavior in this situation, our point of view, and our stand against the world around us. Epictus said we should only worry about things in our control.

According to Epictectus, the Clam mind can think and decide rationally, helping us make better choices in our lives.

Basic Values

Stoicism believes in nature. Nature is considered to be whole. Like organized religion, there are no written, hard-and-fast rules.

Stoicism holds that life must be lived in accordance with nature. We have to act to benefit the whole of nature. Not against nature.

Negative Visualization. praemeditatio malorum,

Negative visualization is a useful technique to prepare well and set low expectations. Like Marcus Aurelius, we often have to meet people for various reasons, which can be a challenging experience. By starting the day with a negative visualization, we need to prepare ourselves for these conditions.

We must remind ourselves every morning. Despite all challenges, interference, unacceptable behavior, ill-will, and selfishness, I will achieve my goals.

I will be able to deal with all these negative comments. This will help us to think about the possible challenges we face and how we can achieve the things we want. Consider the worst-case scenarios as a means of preparing yourself for potential challenges.

Memento Mori

A Stoic often reminds himself that life is temporary, known as memento mori (remember that you will die).

So we have to focus on things that are important to us. At the same time, we must remember that everything, including defeat and betrayal, is temporary. Life is temporary, so we did not take things seriously.

The view from above

“The view from above” is another exercise that helps us see ourselves from a cosmic perspective, helping us realize how small and insignificant we are in comparison to the vastness of the universe.

This idea helps us view things from other people’s points of view. Mentally step back and imagine yourself from an outside perspective. This helps us gain a broader view of the situation.

Pause and reflect.

In life, many unexpected events happen, and most of the time, we react to them as they happen. Stoic practice involves taking a moment to pause, reflect, and then respond. This can help you deal with emotional outbursts and respond more thoughtfully.

Hello friends! I hope you like this video. In this video, I share with you the basic idea of stoicism. Indifference is power; life is short; always focus on things that are significant and important. In our current age, stoicism is a valuable instrument that gives us guidance to stay focused and don’t get down in a sea of distraction. Thank you for watching.

Why you should love yourself unconditionally?

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  • I was thinking what is fundamental thing for healthy self esteem.
  • It is unconditional love for yourself.
  • If we dig deep, unconditional love requires acceptance.
  • Accept yourself.
    • How you look.
    • How much fats you have.
    • a lot of failures.
    • All your weaknesses.
    • All your strength.
    • All your scarifics.
    • And most importantly all successes you have.
  • Some times, truth is ugly. But ugliness also have beauty.
  • Love your ugliness.
  • Love yourself unconditionally.

There is no one like you

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Some of us compare. Or be compared.

Most of the time, comparisons serve to enhance our performance. Sometimes it happens to crush us.

But actually, the only real comparison happens when we compare ourselves to others.

We are our biggest competitor. If we had performed better today compared to a year or months ago, we would have emerged victorious.

If not, then we are losers.

Why do we compare ourselves with others?

Every person has unique qualities. Find out for yourself. If you are not proficient at speaking, then certainly you are proficient at writing.

Focus on your gifts. find it. 

The way  get to know yourself is by finding feedback. Or observation.

There is a highly recommended book on this topic.

managing oneself.  by Peter Docker.

There are two intriguing quotes in Punjabi.

“man tooN jot saroop hai aapnaa mool pachhaan.”

Means perfect in every means (like divine). Find your true worth.

“””JO BRAHMANDE SOI PINDE JO KHOJE SO PAYE “”

Means, you are complete universe with in, everything in self. Now find it in yourself.

Why assertive communication is important

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Suppose you are working on assigned tasks. Your tasks are not completed. Your boss has arrived and is assigning you additional tasks. And ask to complete those tasks. He set unrealistic deadlines. To meet these unrealistic deadlines, you spent extra hours overworking. The result is buggy. You are not producing outstanding results.

Because you avoid conflict, you have to accept more and more work. And as a result, you were unable to meet the expectations. And became a B-grade employee. Despite the efforts, implementations of ideas, and suggestions, nothing changes, and the situation becomes worse day by day.

The management frequently complains about your work. Your performance is declining daily.

Is there a lack of communication here? No, you’re speaking with your manager. But your communication style needs to change. You definitely work on a few things to make an impact. Let’s discuss three communication styles and how you need to change for better communication if you want different results.

Passive communication.

Passive communication’s primary goal is to avoid conflict. To achieve this, you strive to conceal your emotions and thoughts about your task. You must suppress your emotions and thoughts, allowing others to make decisions on your behalf. It results in frustration and dissatisfaction at work.

This situation usually leads to a lose-win situation.

Aggressive communication.

The main theme of aggressive communication is to focus solely on your own needs and feelings. Aggressive communication often suppresses the feelings and thoughts of co-workers. When confronting others, it is always defensive and aggressive.

Aggressive communicators invade other people’s personal spaces. Or, never let another person speak.

Assertive communication.

The main theme is honest communication about your thoughts and feelings. The theme is to share what is actually happening. Instead of suppressing other people’s needs and wants, we need to communicate in such a way that others will feel respect for their ideas and feelings. In assertive communication, the communicator needs to communicate challenges and hurdles to their task.

Assertive communication is a win-win situation. It implies that while respecting others needs and wants, the communicator also asserts his own.

Why does it matter?

Why assert that communication matters? It matters because passive people are generally frustrated, unhappy, and dissatisfied with other people’s needs. Passive people cannot comfortably share their opinions or needs. They constantly worry about the other person’s happiness. They strive to cater to the needs of others.

But assertive people are more balanced in their ability to put themselves first and consider others. While assertive people are happy, they balance their needs with those of others.

Now let’s come back to the example mentioned at the start of the video.

When the manager assigns you a new task, you have to describe your current situation. If the manager assigns you a task with an unrealistic deadline, you must explain why. You must explain to him how much time it takes to complete the task.

In closing notes, Assertive communication is necessary for career growth. People love assertive people who listen and care about others while considering their own understanding of matters and providing the solution to the problem at hand.

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How to be overcome the future anxiety

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Lao Tzu said that

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.”

It’s human nature that we either think too much about the future or think about what happened to us in the past.

Neither we have to live in the future nor we have to live in the past. Thoughts can not be controlled. When we resist a thought, it gains more power. Whatever you resist, persist.

In this video, we discuss anxiety about the future. And how to deal with it.

In my deep analysis, I discovered that two types of fear appear in our minds when we are anxious about the future.

Fears about relationships and careers.

If you are a father, then usually parently related problems start to appear in our minds.

What is the future of my son, my daughter, or both?

Will they become successful in their lives? I feel they are not responsible yet.

If you are a teenager, then anxiety about relationships with your partner or loved ones will come to mind.

Teenagers will also experience exam-related fears. What is my future? Will I pass the exam, Will I get admission to the Big University?

If you’re a professional, most of the time you’re anxious about your professional challenges.

Will my job continue?

Will I get my next promotion?

Then, as time passes, the fear of aging and experience becomes increasingly irrational.

Sometimes, we are worried about certain situations and what people will say about them.

The solution is a three-step process. If you follow this, then you will definitely overcome your future anxiety.

Step number 1: Write down your worries.

Calm down, everyone has this anxiety problem. Thoughts come into everyone’s mind. Some people manage to overcome these thoughts, but those who are unable to do so often fall into depression.

Pick a copy pencil or digital note-taking app and write down what comes to mind.

Step number 2: Write down possible scenarios.

When you write down all your worries, express them more clearly. Write down three scenarios for each worry or fear.

What is the worse case, scenario?

What is happy  scenario? What if things go according to our wishes?

What will be normal scenario, i.e., life will remain the same with neither improvement nor bad.

Step number 3. Ask questions about the solution.

It is said that

“The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself”

Write down the following question for each worst-case scenario:.

Is it worth my attention?

What can I do differently to ensure that this situation never occurs?

What skills do I need to learn to stay relevant in any situation.

What should I do if that situation happens.

What small step do I need to take today to ensure that this situation never happens?

What you need to do is slightly different from today, and the outcome will be different.

What new skills and behaviors do I need to learn to achieve different results?

Step number 4: Take action.

Most of the time, we are worried about things that never happen.

Remember, my friends, nothing happens until we take action. Start working on what you decided in step number 3.

If we are still worried and thinking about things that may happen, life never changes. Life will change only when we take action. Start focusing on those things that help to prevent that bad-case scenario from happening.

Avoid worrying about things that are beyond our control.

Things that are irrelevant and out of our control require no action. The only thing we can do is let them come and go. When these worries come into your mind, just remind yourself that these things are beyond my control. I cannot do anything about this.

But those worries, for which you can do anything, just focus, remind yourself that you are already working on, and take small steps so that situation happens, You will be well prepared and handle the situation.

In conclusion, we often worry about events that are either unavoidable or beyond our control. We can only make changes when circumstances are within our control. We must decide what we can do for those things and begin working pro-actively to achieve them.

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