- “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” -Gautam Buddha
- The same is true when we see our own child failing to follow the right path and following his own will.
- We have to guard our thoughts about what we want. Once I organized my thoughts and realized this,
- My son is like my younger self.
- And I want to tell myself what mistakes I made. What should I do if I get a chance to go back to my teens?
- But the issues are the same. My son is not me. He did not listen 100 percent. Some times he follows my instructions, but other times he follows his own will.
- He thinks of life as it is. But it will not be the same. Time will change. And he have to take his responsiblity of life.
- When I was a student in school, I often asked myself, “Why do I need to come first in my class?” When I just passed the exam.
- But now I realize that I performed better when I was a child. Now I am performing excellently.
- I never understood how laborious my father was. How long did he work hard in the office to bring his salary home?
- He did not understand it in the same way as I was once doing.
- So I decided to let him live his life. He is different from me. He has different skill sets. His interests are different.
- Many times, we overprotect our children.
- This overprotaction did not let them grow.
- There is a saying that when your son’s height equals yours, make him your friend.
- We have to let them make their own decisions.
- In the 21st century, we can only influence our children; we cannot instruct them.
- We have to accept this fact. We are responsible for ourselves. Not for them.
- Just influence and guide them; do not expect too much from them.
- Now they are open to understanding what is right and what is wrong.
- Be hopeful, but do not expect too much.
- Let’s be hopeful. He will be a good person. He will excel in his career. He will take responsibility for his life soon.
Empathy for growth mindset
Hello and welcome to our channel. Today we are going to discuss empathy. what empathy is, why it is important for a growth mindset. How can we cultivate a mindset of empathy? If you want to know all this watch this video till the end.
Lets discus what empathy is:
Empathy is the ability to understand what another person wants and thinks about the situation. It involves putting yourself in another person’s shoes. I Every person has their own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. Their circumstances shape these beliefs and thoughts. Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s nature and point of view in order to act, behave, and deal with them. As individuals with growth mindsets, we must comprehend this and act accordingly. If you are a leader, either leading a family or team in the office, you must understand others. Empathy is crucial for building relationships with others. Lets discuss why it is import:
The most important part of having a growth mindset is the ability to work with others. Without empathy, we cannot lead others or coordinate with others.
Number one Learning from others:
Every person has something good inside. Every person has unique experiences. We can only learn from them if we have a good relationship with them. We understand them. Only then will we be able to coordinate with them.
Number two Resilience:
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from failure or adversity. Every person has their own challenges in life. We don’t know what others are facing. It is empathy that enables us to understand that others are also facing challenges. Empathy helps us to become resilient; during our tough times, we can observe how others are resisting their failures and adversities. They never give up; why are we giving up?
Number three Collaboration:
Collaboration means working together to achieve a common goal. Until we practice empathy, we do not collaborate with others. Collaboration means we share knowledge, ideas, resources, and responsibilities. The most important thing in a collaboration is communication. We cannot communicate effectively until we are able to see another person’s point of view. Number Four Adaptability:
Empathy helps us build the ability to adopt. Depending on the situation, we understand others and adapt to change. Adaptability is a give-and-take. What does another person want? How much space can we give him to achieve a common goal? Until we adopt, we cannot succeed.
Lets discuss how we can built empathy mindset:
Empathy, for a growth mindset, is a foundational trait. Until we are able to understand others’ needs, wants, and feelings, we cannot grow. We didn’t collaborate with them. We can move forward until we have common goals. We cannot adapt according to the situation. Now the question is how to develop an empathy mindset. Here are a few important tips:
Tip number one Listen actively:.
When we speak, we only share what we know. But when we listen, it increases our knowledge and experience. Listening is only one way to understand what others think. It helps us understand what other people have to say, as well as what they like or dislike.
Tip number two put yourself in another person’s shoes.
Before speaking to another person, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine his response, his thought process, and the type of question he might ask. What are the possible benefits and disadvantages of the point you are going to convey . The ability to think while standing in another person shoes helps us to built empathy and lead others That requires practice, not precise action. But as time passes, you become an expert in this domain.
Tip number three Ask Questions:
There are closed-ended and open-ended questions. A closed-ended question means they have only two answers. Yes or no. And open-ended questions have long answers. Detailed and sometimes long answers. When interacting with anyone, ask open-ended questions. That helps you understand others.
Tip number three Be Curious:
Curiosity is the one thing that helps you get to know others. Be curious about others. What movies do they watch? What dresses do they like? What types of activities are they interested in? What type of experience do others have? If you want to meet others and have relationships with them, you must be curious about them.
Tip number four Reflect on your interactions:
One of the best ways to improve yourself is through reflection. So start reflecting on every Tip on interaction with others. In the evening, sit down and write down all interactions with others. Note down what others speak about. What other people are concerned about. That reflection helps you understand others. Later, you will be able to see things from other people’s points of view.
Tip number five Seek Diversity.
Many times, when we interact with others, we find that they are different from us. It’s human nature that we like those people who have similar interests and points of view. But life is full of diversity . We have to accept others; we accept their point of view. We accept that they think and act differently. We can only influence others when we accept them. Hope friends. You like this video. In closing notes, empathy is a critical skill for a growth-minded person.
Until we are able to see things from another person’s point of view, we cannot influence them to act and work with us toward a common goal. Empathy is a mindset, and that can be learned with simple steps. Try to listen to others; be curious about them. Listen to them. understand them. Later, you’ll be able to influence them.
The only communication tip ever required.
Many times in life, when we have fewer friends, we tend to speak to everyone who comes to meet us or interact with us. We start to speak on any topic we want to share, and as a result, our impression of important people is not good. If we do not communicate effectively, they consider us to not be people. I have done this many times. This continued until I understood the significance of intention. I first listened to this topic in the Opera Winfield video. According to her, intention is a cause that creates an effect. We cannot avoid the effects until we focus on the causes. And intention is the cause. If we understand this point and act accordingly, we can create a positive impact on others.
Now come back to the topic of communication. We communicate every time, even in those moments when we are busy at work. Or sitting silently. Only speak with intention. Otherwise, just listen. Speak with intention, which means understanding what you say will have an impact on your listener. another person. In the working environment, your boss or colleague understands that you are You can identify yourself as a domain expert, subject matter expert, or generalist. Or after listening to your Or you are creating an impact by sharing the stories of being a nice and happy person. Here are some tips for speaking with intention: Tip No. 1: Define what type of impact you want to convey. For example, in the office, you want to create the impression that you are a subject matter expert. You did not want the impression that you were good communicators. Or you are an expert in certain religious points of view. When you are sitting with friends, then again, you have to speak with intention. Either way, you are helping others solve their personal problems. Or you give another guy a listen-eye. Tip 2. What message do you want to convey? Define the message clearly. As per your experience, what is a decision already talked about, and what will be its impact? For example, the assigned task is complete, and you want to share this message with your boss to show him how much effort you put into completing it. Define your message clearly. For example What is the solution to the problem that your boss or colleague is searching for? What types of challenges arise if we implement certain solutions? Define the message clearly. As per your experience, what is a decision already talked about, and what will be its impact? Always begin with the end in mind. Tip 3: Define the context. People did not understand your point or message. Until they have a clear context, people are busy; they are not present mentally. They have to complete their own tasks. They did not understand your complete message until you provided context. Tip 4: Define the transition points. When discussing multiple points, you focus on the transition points. This allows you to effortlessly transition from one point to the next. You have to consider these points before going to meet your boss or friend. It seems that these points are lengthy and complex, but with practice, you can perform them in a few minutes or in a few seconds. Hi friends, I hope you like this video. On closing notes, there are two points: speak only when it is required. And speak with intention. Intention means What type of impact do you want to create on others? Please subscribe to my YouTube channel. See you in another video.
Greatest blessing are mankind are within us
“True happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied, for he that is wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not”
– Seneca
This resonated.
How to deal with people like a king Marcus Aurelius
I was reading the second book of Mediation By Marcus Aurelius
- When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.
It’s very strange for me that the first annotation talks about acceptance and cooperation with each other. Marcus Aurelius said to accept every human being as they are. Sometimes we wonder why that happens to us or why others behave strangly. Later, I discovered that people were with us until we had common goals. When they achieved their shared interest, they changed. They betrayed.
Jealousy is a natural phenomenon. People can be jealous of us without any reason. Same rule apply to us, we are also jealous a few people.
In life, people motivate us to achieve something; under the hood, they are going to achieve their own goals. And when they achieved those goals, they betrayed us.
People behave badly with us. They are arrogant; they do it intensely to get attention; they know we reflect back on them; or they like the pain or misery on our faces. However, it’s possible that their actions are a result of their circumstances. But the question is: why do we expect good behavior from them? They are busy in their own world. We seek outside approval only when we are not satisfied with ourselves. Therefore, seek approval from within.
Marcus Aurelius says that all these people have the same mind as we do, and everything I see or feel is related to us.
Ancient people believed that all people shared the same spite and that all people connected with each other in some way. Marcus Aurelius talks about other people who are not our blood relatives but who have very similar minds, bodies, and spirits. If we see something evil in others, we should first find it in ourselves and correct it rather than criticizing.
Most of the time, the situation is not a problem, but the reaction to it creates a problem. It’s our thoughts. Understanding this prevents them from hurting us, the situation, and other people’s behavior. In simple Urdu, “asa hee hayee, churo isya.” “Accept them as they are; let it go.”.
Most of the time, stress does not come from situations, but our reaction to those situations creates a problem. No matter how badly people treat us, we can still control our response. How we feel and think. If we control our inner world, it can have no impact on us. And no one can make us angry and respond in an evil way.
Marcus Aurelius talks about how every person has different qualities. And no one has all of those qualities. God creates in such a way that people can work together. They work with each other to build a functional body. Similar to different body parts of the human body, each part cannot function individually and has different functions to perform. All human body parts work together, so a human being survived. Its nature’s rule that humans have to cooperate with each other.
It’s our divine duty to work with each other, not against each other.
Hope you like this video. Please subscribe our channel.
Why Resilience is important for Growth Mindset
Hello and welcome to our channel.
This video is about the qualities of a person who has a growth mindset. “Resilience” is among these qualities.
What is resilience?
A person with a growth mindset should always think about growth; even in the worst case, he will find something positive and constantly learn from his mistakes. An individual with a growth mindset holds the belief that learning is achievable through effort.
In life, there are many challenges and failures. Resilience is the speed at which we bounce back from adversity and failure.
Why is it important?
Before I give you a reason why resilience is important as a growth mindset, Let me give some examples of possible challenging situations.
Life is not easy; things will never be in our way.
There are many situations in our lives that are beyond our control.
For instance, we may experience a job layoff or the loss of a loved one.
Despite all our efforts, our partner did not want to live with us. They want divorce.
Now the question is: Why is it important?
If we do not practice resilience, there will be no improvement in life. There will be no progress. There will be no achievement. Otherwise, we stuck in front of challenges, failures, and adversity.
Practicing resilience is important for our mental health and well-being. Our stress and depression start with our thoughts and result in high blood pressure and physical disabilities.
If we do not practice resilience, there will be no improvement in life. There will be no progress.
Our lives will be a healthy guide for others when our fellow beings face challenges and difficulties in their lives.
How we build resilient qualities in ourselves.
Remember that resilience is a mindset. And mindset is in our control. We have the power to alter and cultivate our mindset.
Here are three of my tips to stay resilient.
Accepting pain is part of life.
Life is never fair; things happen differently than how we think and plan. The difference between what we plan and reality is pain.
But suffering is something that we create by constantly thinking about the situation and why it happens to us.
There is a saying that “pain is inevitable and suffering is optional.” So accept that pain is part of life. If we put in effort, try to achieve something, and pursue some goals, we definitely face failure. We definitely reached the dead end, but that does not mean that we never succeeded. We have to accept the situation.
Accept life as it is.
Focus on the good.
A stopped watch is believed to provide twice the correct time. Every situation has some positive sides, too.
It teaches us something, so focus on that. The term “negative bias” exists. I insist on you becoming negative.
See the situation from a positive perspective. There is always something to learn from every situation.
Always focus on the good.
Ask yourself how to respond.
Most of the time, we deal with situations in a reactive way. Before reacting, ask yourself the question.
Is your response harmful to you, or will it be helpful? Is this improving the situation?.
Always respond in a way that is beneficial to you.
In Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven R. Covey talks about reactive vs. proactive responses.
Reactive responses stem from emotions and feelings, without considering the consequences of their actions. A proactive response means that you consider the consequences and respond in a way that will benefit you.
Always focus on things you can control. And never focus on things that are beyond our control.
Take responsibility for proactive responses.
Ask yourself how your behavior affects you. Is it harmful, or is it good? If it is hurting, most of the time, our own thinking or response to a situation has more effect on us than the situation itself.
Hi firends, I hope you like this video. I explained why resilience is important and what points you should consider when faced with a situation. In the closing notes, there is a saying, “
You can’t control the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.”
See you in another video.
How to finish what you already started project or task.
Hi friends, If you are facing the problem of an unfinished task or project and want to finish all those pending things, this post is for you.
Let me share with you my story and how I settle things and come up with solutions.
I am a person who wants to do a lot of things.
I have a lot of ideas; some I have implemented, some are in progress, and some are in a pending state. But unfortunately, a lot of them are in an unfinished or stuck state. I have already implemented many ideas in the form of different projects, but nothing will be fruitful.
Things will only be fruitful when they are completed or the end product is ready for sale.
With the passage of time, these broken and partially completed projects created a mess and started to stress me. This feels like emotional baggage for me. And, unsurprisingly, I’m getting fed up. I was starting to feel disorganized and dissatisfied with myself. As a new idea pops up, an already-unfinished mess stops me. This mess is discouraging me. Why am I adding new things to an existing mess? Slowly, I just focus on office work or the only things necessary, and the rest I start to ignore. This makes me sad and dissatisfied with my life.
Later, I focus on a simple strategy that helps me to clear my mess and improve my productivity, which is listed, reviewed, and finished.
Let me talk about it as much as possible; it will be helpful to you.
Listed everything.
So the first step I took was to list everything, under a specific project name.
During that experience, I stopped working on new ideas until everything was sorted out.
Initially, I used multiple document and note-taking apps, like Google Sheets, Excel, Notion, and many more, even a paper-based notebook.
I start collecting everything in one place, such as an Excel sheet. You can use any of your choices.
My collection has the following things:
- Dates, such as the day I initiated the project,
- What was the last task I completed to date?
- What are sub-tasks?
- What is the state of the project?
You can follow a different workflow. One of my favorites is Getting Things Done by David Allen. Second recently, but more important for digital note-taking apps. That is the Para method.
Review and reassess
Listing everything in one place helps me remove unnecessary mental baggage. Many times in life, when there are a lot of things going on in mind, the best way to list them down on paper is in Excel, Google Sheets, or any note-taking app. It will help us get a clear picture.
So I listed everything in a single repository and add each project’s completion percentage.
Upon completion of this single repository, I ensured there was nothing left on my project list pending. Then I rework each project and divide it into subtasks for more clarity.
After that, I re-accessed the status of each project.
- What is completed?
- What is pending?
- How much work is necessary to complete each task or project?
I break down access into three groups: less than 30 percent completed, 60 percent completed, and more than 80 percent completed.
Mark it done:
Marcus Aurelius once said, “Ask yourself at every moment: Is this necessary?”.
Every thing or idea has time. It is possible that any idea I worked on for the project is no longer useful. I started to ask this question on each project. Is this necessary? If you find the project now of no use, simply mark it as finished and scrap it.
Before moving forward with the projects that are still worthy, I review the definition of done.
In the famous book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen Covey mentioned that highly effective people begin things with an end in mind. It means they have a clear picture of the finished product or point where they marked that the project or task is completed.
If you did not define when you marked that project or task as finished, please do so. Define it. After defining the finished line, re-access each project. There is a possibility that some projects are already complete.
All projects that are less than 30 percent complete should be considered scrap.
All those projects, which are more than 60 percent, ask the question: Is this necessary? Is it still worth it? If the answer is no, discard them.
All the projects that have been completed—more than 80 percent—need to be completed. Whether they are worth it or not, they must be completed.
After the completion of this exercise, my mind is clear about what I need to do and what projects are already finished or completed.
Instead of starting to work on new ideas, I started focusing on projects that I needed to complete.
Start implementing the Getting Things methodology.
For new projects and ideas, I started working on the Getting Things Done methodology by David Allen.
One of the book’s key ideas is that our mind is an idea-making machine. It was not there to hold them. Instead of keeping them in mind, note them down somewhere.
So I make a Google sheet, and there is whatever idea I got, not it down in the sheet with the name “Inbox.”. This helps me to clear my mind so that ideas are noted down. I will start working on them later.
Hi friends, I hope you like this post.
There is
Why stories are important.
Once, I used to wonder why stories were written. Why people love stories.
I used to listen to folklore, legends, and stories. Who created these folktales?
If you live in India and Pakistan, you will find a lot of folklore around saints, soudhs, and devas.
You did not find dragons in these folktales. But these stories have some important lessons. Most of the time, it is the power of saints that allows problems to be solved with the help of a mentor.
Today, modern man’s mind starts asking about these stories. And modern media-driven people found them to be boring and pointless pieces of work.
As a layman, I understand and love these folklores. It demonstrates how common men think.
The common mind loves the stories. These people will not understand if you say something straight.
If you construct a story around the point you want to explain, they will understand why it is important.
There are multiple ways to construct a story. There are multiple frameworks for creating a story.
The Pixar Storytelling Framework
The Hero’s Journey Framework
The Rags-to-Riches Storytelling Framework
The Big Idea Storytelling Framework
If you want to share a message, build a story around it.
I hope you like this video. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel.
How think out of the box
Most of the time, we used to work only the way we needed it to be completed. We did not go beyond what our mentor taught us.
Our minds stuck on what was necessary to complete the task. We were never able to think beyond it. And as a result, we always stay mediocre.
Thinking creatively is the only way to produce something unique and superior to your competitors. To achieve this, we need to think creatively and expand our horizons. For this, we have to take a break and review our work. If you can’t take a break, do this when the week ends. When we do the same task repeatedly, we create a framework. We do things the same way. We have to seek a new way to complete the task. There is a possibility that new tools will be available to complete your task. There is a possibility that others have some best practices. There is a possibility that the tools you are already using have new provisions and functionality that you have not explored yet. In 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey talks about “Sharpen Your Saw.”. In this habit, Stephen talks about learning new skills, thinking about how we can perform well, and which things need improvement to get better results. The problem is that, with the passage of time, we become rigid and do not want to change. We did not want to improve. Why is innovation necessary when we can accomplish tasks in the same way? But, brother, change is always resistible. If we don’t adapt and embrace change, and if we don’t make improvements, someone more skilled than us will replace us. We have to improve our workflow. Always think about improving. Always think about how we can do things in a better and smarter way.