Everyone has different criteria for judging others. After research, these are 10 qualities any nice person must have. We cannot produce these qualities in a single day. We must practice them day by day until they become part of our nature.
Many times in my mind, a question came up: How do other people consider us nice person?
Resilience.
Ability to stand against failure and how quickly you recover from disaster. It is the art of keeping going even when the results are not coming or things are not going our way. In simple terms, resilience means falling seven and standing eight. Regardless of the situation, just focus on your goals and keep going.
Empathy
Ability to understand that others are also facing challenges and problems in life. It helps us to understand others person shoes and see things from their point of view. How others are thinking about the situation. Understand that others are different from us and can behave differently.
Patience.
When things go wrong or are not according to our expectations, it will provide us with the ability to deal with things that are going wrong. We should be calmer and more forgiving. We have to make things more realistic in our approach.
Sacrifice.
By nature, we all seek our advantage. We work and act on all those activities where we have a benefit. However, there are times when we must provide an advantage to others at our own expense. A good, happy family life is only possible when we sacrifice our needs and wants for the future of our family. We sacrifice for the community or our country for greater good.
Politeness.
We must know the manners of our community. Speak clearly and softly. Even if we have power and position, we deal with others with respect and honor, even if they are less powerful than us.
When we are polite, we are able to work with people who do not agree with us and are different.
It makes us humble and able to tolerate more.
Humor.
This quality helps us to understand the funny side of situations and tells others that we do not take everything as seriously, which creates physical problems. It helps us to enjoy the gap between what we expect and what actually happens. Like anger, humor is also the offspring of disappointment. It tells us about how we deal with sadness. It tells us a lot about ourselves. How do we deal with failure? Accept life as it is, or stop trying. It tells us a lot of things about ourselves. It reveals the types of jokes we laugh at and how we move forward.
Self-Awareness:
Self-awareness means that we take responsibility for accepting our failures and never giving blame to others. Do we know what our strengths are and what our weaknesses are? Can we defer what our needs are to our wants? What we can bear, what we cannot tolerate, and how to avoid such a situation.
Forgiveness.
How much do we have memories of bad events that happen in our lives? When others treat us badly, when our partner brings bad results into our lives, and when our children or family members do not meet our expectations. And how quickly we forgive them. This quality helps us make our relationships strong with our family, friends, and colleagues. It helps us gain trust and work with others.
Hope.
Hope means that, regardless of failures and adversity in life, we still think positively about the future. We believe good things happen in life; if not, then nothing bad will happen. We believe that in the end, everything will be good. We should be hopeful that the result will come. It shows our ability to still have the courage to continue regardless of a bad situation.
Confidence.
Confidence means believing in our ability to achieve. It indicates that we have achieved significant success in the past or had positive experiences. It shows that in the past, we already faced a lot of challenges in life, and we overcame all those challenges and reached here.
How do you like this video? Let’s try to keep these in mind and practice them a little every day. Resilience Empathy, patience, and sacrifice Politeness Humor Self-Awareness Forgiveness Hope Confidence is one of the 10 qualities of being a nice person.
Earl Nightingale said that “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal”.
While working on an idea or goal, you encounter many people who try to discourage you, criticize you, or straight-forwardly tell you not to do what you are doing. They are naysayers.
In this video, I am going to share with you what their types are and how to deal with them.
I used to post on my blog about my professional experience and tips and tricks on how to accomplish a few things. One of my old colleagues called me. He recently learned that I am writing a blog about my professional work. I was surprised at why he called me after so much time.
After a discussion about some useless points, he started to discuss my blog. He told me that while searching for a topic, he came across my blog. He told me that it was a good article. But why are you wasting your time? Nothing comes out of it. You know I am your best beneficiary; there is no benefit from it. Do something better. You know that person is the CEO of the company. He never did that.
My brother wants to study abroad. He is trying to get a student visa. Recently, Aunt Jade’s phone call came from someplace.
She told my father that there was no benefit to it; don’t waste money. It’s not easy there, and then there are better alternatives. My son got the degree, but he did not get the job. So don’t waste time and money on it.
Many times in life, we encounter someone who seems to be our beneficiary, but they try to stop us from doing something we are doing. Are they afraid of something, do they lack perspective, or are they truly our beneficiaries? Based on my observations, I can categorize these individuals into three types. Also share with you how you can deal with them.
Idea junkies.
These people have a lot of ideas. They remember the success stories of other people. They know what is required to be successful, but their actual lives are miserable. They try to drag you into the discussion and show you that they know the valid reasons for your failures. They share a similar idea implemented by Mr. XYZ. But they failed. Actually, they know what you are going to accomplish in your life. And they did not want you to advance in life. When they told you that you would not be able to succeed, under the hood, they were saying that I could not do that. Why are you doing it? These people have a lot of ideas. And they got tired of implementing some ideas in their lives. The problem with them is not you, but themselves. They have a lot of ideas. They implemented some ideas, but when pressure or unsatisfactory results emerged, they lost interest and abandoned their work. Actually, they did not tell you you couldn’t do that; instead, they are saying they could not do that. They told you that instead of doing what you are doing, there are alternative ideas on which you have to work. The idea you are working on is worthless and out of date. The best solution for these people is to just listen to them and not act. If they insist, just ask them about any achievements in their life.
Time wasters
These people just come to you to kill their time. They have a lot of spare time. They enjoy conversation; they engage you in unnecessary discussion. They know they are going to waste your time. Instead of encouraging you, they discourage you because they need time from you. Instead of succeeding or failing, they just want to enjoy your company. They told you that when life is easy, why are you putting your time into working on some ideas? Enjoy your life. You will find these people in exactly the same position as they are. The solution to this is to avoid them at all costs. They are just energy and resource drainers.
Critical buster.
These types of people exist everywhere. Unknowingly, they want to become your boss. They have problems with every solution. They told you that your work is not good. You need to make extra-ordinary efforts to achieve something. They try to discourage you by finding mistakes in your work. They told you that other people were doing much better than you. Basically, they are useless people. They always have problems with each solution. They cannot give you a solution, but they criticize and find problems in every situation. Compared to idea junkies, critical busters have some achievements in their lives. They did not allow other people to grow. They intentionally critique your work. Their basic purpose is to discourage you. The only solution for these people is to evade their criticism. Never take things personally. Consider that their criticism is pointing to someone else, not you. Just consider it an opinion. If you find something good in criticism, work on it. If it is just for the sake of crushing you, just ignore it. These critic busters have some achievements in their lives. Always deal with them proactively. Never give them a reactive response. Success does not come easily; it takes time and patience, and slow and steady wins the race. You have to stay persistent. When negativity enters your life, it presents a challenge to overcome. When Nayser tells you that, due to a certain reason, you cannot do that, don’t ignore them, knowing that they actually told you that you can do that. Take it as a challenge. Put in your efforts. When these people discourage you and you are unintentionally getting low, just consider why. I hope you like this video. See you in another video.
ایسا محسوس ہوتا ہے کہ دوسرے لوگ آپ کو غیر تعاون کرنے والے یا سخت شخص کے طور پر جان سکتے ہیں۔
اس سوچ سے، ہم نہیں نہیں کہہ سکتے کیونکہ اس طرح ہم پچھتاوے کا شکار ہوتے ہیں ۔
ہم سوچنے لگتے ہیں کہ اگر ہم نہیں کہیں گے تو اس سے دوسروں کو مایوسی ہوگی اور دوسروں پر منفی اثرات مرتب ہوں گے۔
بنیادی طور پر، ہم سب لوگوں کو خوش کرنا چاہتے ہیں۔ – براہ مہربانی.
حال ہی میں، میں نے پیٹی بریٹ مین اور کونی ہیچ کی کتاب “How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty” پڑھی۔ یہ کتاب اعتماد کے ساتھ نہ کہنے کے بارے میں بہت سے نکات فراہم کرتی ہے۔ اور ہم فکر، جرم اور اضطراب کے ان جذبات کو ہمیشہ کے لیے کنٹرول کرنے یا ان سے چھٹکارا پانے کا حل جانتے ہیں۔
https://youtu.be/W2YrxOQ9UUs
یہاں ٦ ٹیک ویز ہیں:
1. نہ کہنے کا سب سے اہم فائدہ یہ ہے کہ آہم ان سرگرمیوں کے لیے وقت اور توانائی کو بچاتے ہیں جن سے ہم لطف اندوز ہوتے ہیں۔ لیکن اصل میں نا ، بہت سے لوگوں کو ناراض کرسکتا ہے . تاہم، ہم سب کو مطمئن نہیں کر سکتے۔
2. ہمیں یہ سمجھنا ہوگا کہ ہماری ترجیحات اور اقدار کیا ہیں۔ جسمانی اور ذہنی صحت کے لیے کیا ضروری ہے؟ ہماری ترجیحات ہمیں بتاتی ہیں ، کہ کب نا کہنا ہے۔
3. نہ کہنے کے لیے آسان الفاظ استعمال کریں۔ معافی مانگنے یا بہانے بنانے کی ضرورت نہیں ہے۔ بس اتنا کہیے، “میں ایسا نہیں کر سکتا۔” بس اتنا کہیے کہ نہیں شکریہ۔ اگر آپ بہانے بنایں گے تو بحث ہوگی، اور وہ آپ کو دلائل میں گھسیٹیں گے اور آپ کو قائل کریں گے۔
5. نہیں کہنے کی مشق شروع کریں۔ ایک چھوٹی سی بات سے نا کہنا شروع کریں؛ بعد میں، آپ بڑے سے انکار کرنے کے لیے اعتماد پیدا ہو گا ۔ آہستہ لیکن فعال طرح سے شروع کریں۔
6. اگر آپ جرم محسوس کرتے ہیں، تو اپنے بارے میں سوچیں، نہ کہ دوسرے کیا سوچتے ہیں۔ لوگوں کو خوش کرنے کے لیے نہیں۔ اپنی وجہ بنائیں اور اسے خود تک رکھیں۔ اپنے آپ سے اچھی باتین کریں ؛ یہ آپ کے جرم کے احساس کو مٹا دے گا۔
7. اپنے انکار پر ثابت قدم رہیں۔ ذہن میں رکھیں کہ آپ کی ہاں دراصل نا ہے۔ اور اگر انکار سے بچو گے تو بعد میں تلخ ہو گی۔ مضبوطی اور نرمی سے نہ کہیں۔
یاد رکھیں کہ دوسروں کی ضرورتوں کو اپنی ضرویات پر ترجح نا دیں یہ عدم اطمینان کا باعث بنتا ہے اور وقت کے ساتھ ساتھ آپ کی خوشی کو تباہ کر دیتا ہے۔ خود کی دیکھ بھال کی مشق کرنا اور ترجیحات کی بنیاد پر فیصلے کرنا آپ کو بہتر نتائج فراہم کرنے میں مدد کرتا ہے اور آپ کو دوسروں کے لیے پورا وقت دینے کے قابل بناتا ہے۔
While sitting in the office, I was communicating about Iranian food. Iranian food is tasty. I liked it. I really like the chullo kaaba. But suddenly, it came to my mind: What am I trying to convey? What message am I going to deliver? This message conveys that I am a food lover and that I like Iranian food. There are two major points here: will it impact someone? So the most important thing I release in building reputation is what type of impact you want to create on others. So I changed my approach. But the problem is, what is the starting point? The starting point is the power of intention. I was listening to an Operah Winfery video where she talks about the “power of intention.” She said that before the age of 40, she was a pleasing person. So she pleases others, but when others demand more, she starts to revolt. Then she released the power of intention. She talks about the seat of the soul. Then she shared the idea that intention is the soul of action—it fuels passion in action. So I decided to change my ways. I started before speaking about what type of impact I wanted to create on others. But before deeply implementing this idea of the power of intention, I was thinking What happened to me? Why did I start to talk about general topics? With too much work in the past, I got fed up with the same types of jobs. So I lost interest in my work. So I started to talk in general terms. Talk about food; talk about places. But as a result, it creates a very poor impression of me. That is a big problem for me as a professional. I am statistically significant based on the work I have done. I learned what people did not know about my work. They know about my taste in food, but not my quality of work. As a result, I became less worthy. Certainly they have word of mouth, but how do you create these words of mouth? That is what you told others. Who you are, what you are doing, and what are your achievements—but most importantly, what are your failures? Don’t share your failure. That all comes from one principle, and that is intention. So I start to think in a way that makes me comprehensible. What I already achieved, So I start thinking in terms of who I am. What have I achieved? What can I do? So the most important thing I learned from the video of Operh Winfery is intuition. What I am gone say, what is my itension. Either way, that other person knows that I am a food-loving person. Or a good consultant. What I know is that I started to think in terms of What type of impact do I want to create on others?
I am new to company, manger called me all the team to go to client side. But ask me to report to the head office. It was shocking for me. After coming from the office, I had at least 3 hours. I wanted to spend an hour reading news and watching YouTube videos about what was going on. 1 hour to write an article or blog post. And an hour on my pending book summary. But that message made me a little worried about what would happen next. They will fire me because, within the last three months, I have been unable to deliver anything tangible. They show me that they are not satisfied. I am working to my full capacity. They told me I was a little slow. As I get older, I become slower. I do things with patience. That something is true; I have to gain expertise in Microsoft Excel. Anyhow, truth is truth. I accept those things and focus on what I can improve and what I cannot improve. After that message, I got depressed. What will happen? They will fire me. Possible. As they told me, you are doing a good job. We are no longer counting on you. Everything is possible. But I was too depressed. I stop everything and go to sleep. The whole night was dressed. I woke around 3:30 a.m. Stressed, I wanted to go outside, see the sky, and pray to God. Help me, Lord. Help me, Lord. Then I went to sleep again. I wake up early in the morning and take breakfast disheartedly. What will happen?What will happen? Finally, I reached the office. I sent a message to the manager that I was in the office. He called me Ali. Wait, we have little contact with the client for payment, so work for our office and do testing. As soon as the problem is resolved, I will tell you to visit the client side. I realized that the game was something else; I just overthought something and worried about something that would never happen. Actually, I completed one functionality, and I did a lot of functionality testing. And helped them complete it. Today it will be demonstrated with the client. And they did not want that I closed it. They want credit for someone else. Or they did not want it, as I claim. So the moral of the story is that I have to not worry. Worry did not let us take action. Worry only destroyed today’s joy. Instead, what should I do? I have to accept it. Ok, that is not happening now. Let’s see what happens. The third thing is that I cannot do anything if they fire me. One day, it will happen. It is the private sector; anything happens at any moment. At that time, when I had some spare time to improve myself, I wasted it worrying. So remember,
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
― Mark Twain
As one quote from Will smith said
The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is the product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Now do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
